BeautyScope 335: Can you see?

mortar and pestle

nestle for a moment

making faces

BeautyScope 334: Am I coming or going?

suddenly heart stoppingly

teetering on a crevasse...

when I stub my toe!

snowy sandy footprints

walk around

for Suzanne Carillo

Organising my brain and my online life

Hello gorgeous ones!

I have been going through a process not only of trying to understand my brain (as in the previous post), but also of trying to once again simplify my life.
With the study of my maybe gifted and certainly intense mind, I am realising a lot of my stress comes from the way I think.
I have what Paula Prober terms a "Rainforest Mind" which is teeming with ideas, full of sensory stimulation and working on many different directions at once. I also have heard it termed "fractal thinking" or "meta thinking".
It doesn't seem to think linearly, but more brainstormingly. Each thought sets up clusters of thoughts and my brain either heads off for the ride of its life; or becomes completely mired within the distractions it sets up, becomes overloaded and can't have a decent conversation.

My first inkling that all was not well was the way I felt around online time. I enjoy it so much and yet it seems to drain the life right out of me. It feels like standing in the middle of a busy party and trying to have conversations with all the partygoers simultaneously. Kind of like living in my brain sometimes! You think I would be used to it, but obviously not!
So then I backed right off and withdrew from Facebook and reduced my blogging interactions to almost nil. However this felt too far removed and I missed my friends and all the stimulation of ideas.
So I have now come up with a new strategy which I am finding useful.

For Facebook I have unfriended people who I don't know in person, and those who post negative ideas constantly. But I still had a few people who I wanted to keep in contact with like family, but who posted things I found hard to read. I then found my lifesaver...unfollowing. This allows me to stay friends but I don't have to see their posts in my feed. If I tap on the notification button it will tell me a summary of their posts and I can pick and choose which I will read. This has given me a really useful filtration tool and has been great for my mental health. The side benefit of emptying my feed is that I now receive posts from the groups I am following which were previously crowded out by someone's breakfast photo or some such. These group posts are much more on topic for me as that is why I followed them in the first place, and I can have much more relevant interesting conversations based on them.

I have also removed myself from Instagram as I found it tended to be doubling what I was doing on FB or my blog, but it just opened me up to way more interactions. Too many for my brain, fun though they were.
I have long ago also pulled away from Google+ as well, as that tended to duplicate FB. I explored posting my BeautyScopes in various photography groups, and while successful, it required much interaction with others' photos to keep the group alive, and I just couldn't sustain it.

So I have reduced my daily interactions to Email lists, Blogging, Facebook and YouTube with occasional forays into Pinterest and Podcasts.
I have set up my apps in a folder on my ipad in order, and every day I walk through them to make sure I have caught up and covered everything. If I have a gap, if I'm away for instance, I tend to just start again from there, rather than trying to catch up with everything that has gone on in my absence!

I have reduced my lists to a manageable number, and when I find a new one I want to follow, I remove one I am not reading as much, with gratitude. Like sorting out my wardrobe!  This way I can keep things under control, and I can interact more deeply with those still on my list. Deep communication is my natural way, and I have been finding all the scattered surface reading did not suit me.

However I must admit this is still only partially successful as I still peep back at the people I removed. Mostly I have removed fashion bloggers as I have stopped being so interested in clothing for the moment. But the problem is I find those people are the nicest, kindest, chattiest people! If I want to make space for my other research, I need to move away for a time. Still working on this!

Another issue I've been having is that I forget to read the ibooks I have downloaded because there is no physical presence to prompt me. Do you find that?
I have put my kindle app in my daily folder to help me remember to finish these ibooks.

And in this same daily folder I have my Italianpod101 app which gives me a word of the day. I do enjoy starting my day with a little Italian!

Finally I have a Chill app that gives me a saying and beautiful picture to brighten my day and give me a calm image to think about and dwell on.

Phew, listing all this makes me realise that even in my relaxed organised state I am full on!

After reading all these, I then head off to do some yoga with "Yoga With Adriene", free on YouTube.
This sets my body up for the day and stretches out all the little kinks. My ultra taut nervous system can wreak havoc on my poor muscles. My yoga time is helping to smooth the way...ahhh!
The focus on the core during yoga has helped me come back to myself, feel my grounding, feel my body.
So I am gently working towards more simplicity, stillness and focus.
I am thinking more of nature, spending more time at home, working more with my hands, and working only on a couple of projects at a time (or at least in a day)!

Working towards simple pleasures of having a tidy, clean, beautiful functional space. Filled with well crafted good quality products and finishes. I notice buying things secondhand as I do, it's easy to pick up junk. We need to filter our buying, not just buy a lot of stuff because it's cheap. We need to make sure we adore it and it is quality, and we need it! I am working on negotiating this with the magpie inside!

So that is my brain dump on my latest move towards simplicity. Getting this all sorted through my brain and then implementing it and finally writing about it, has been an enormous undertaking!
I feel cleaner and lighter and simpler. Yay!

Do you have strategies you use to organise your brain and your online life?

Til next time,

keep on creating!

Love,

Jazzy Jack

BeautyScope 333: Rock pool jewels

peering into

a rock pool display window

longingly

Am I gifted?

Greetings my beloved ones!

My mind has been running on overload lately as I try to make some sense of a puzzle.

As you know I have been diagnosed in the past with Aspergers.

Then I came across SPD- Sensory Processing Disorder, and HSP - Highly Sensitive People

And recently I made the acquaintance of Dabrowski, overexitabilities and giftedness.

All of these titles and terms to my mind could all be part of the same network, if not the same thing from a different angle. I am now struggling to decide which if any of these I fit.

By using the terms Highly Sensitive and overexitability for example, I feel my situation is looked at from a more positive angle than Aspergers. Although they are still the same symptoms.

Giftedness is also one of those things that people hesitate to apply to themselves. With the research I've done and the FB groups I'm in, I see this as a common predicament.

Here is a post I wrote to the Intergifted FB group of which I'm a member.

Are there others in this group who are self described "gifted"? I grew up in Papua New Guinea where we had no gifted programmes in schools. I am ashamed to admit it, but when I helped my peers with their work in the small correspondence school I attended, I didn't think that I was bright...just that they were not.

According to my parents I was ahead on all the landmark stages in life except sport. I was a talented musician who played in adult situations like congregational singing in church, while in primary school.

I'm not sure I would really be diagnosed (hate that term) as gifted or more just sensitive, intense, creative and talented.

I like Dabrowski's gifted scale with the five overexecitabilities, as I feel I fit more into those than into the traditionally intellectual gifted category.

I found reading Paula Prober's Your Rainforest Mind such a relief and such a treat. I felt I'd found my tribe but still I was hesitant.

I joined this group to hover on the sidelines and peep into your lives to see if I fit.

I'm struggling to know if I am experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Evidence to support that is that everyone around me in whatever field I'm in always pushes me forward to the front, to lead. They make noises about how creative and talented etc. I am. How I think and am wired differently.

I am struggling with the world and have undergone MANY years of counselling without really sensing understanding for how I tick.

I often feel estranged from the world, with totally different goals and interests. Totally different mindset and way of thinking. I process things differently and feel overwhelmed by everyday situations.

Really appreciating this group, but I feel like a child sitting at the adult's table. How do the rest of you KNOW you are gifted? Is it all based on IQ tests and the like? Are there others here also lurking, who are in this same situation?

The response I received was astounding, giving the impression that many in the group struggled with just this same question.

One of the respondents (who is a counsellor of the gifted) noted that amongst his clients he has noticed this paradox (paraphrased):

The more intelligent you are the more you are aware of what you don't know, therefore causing you to conclude you are stupid. However those that are not smart feel confident they know all there is to know. Some people feel they may be only slightly gifted because of this thought process. They always know someone who knows more about a topic than them which helps to prove their ignorance. However these would be called the extremely gifted.

One of the issues of course is the inherent difficulty with the term "gifted", having a feeling of boastfulness and lording it over the masses. The book "Enjoying the Gift of Being Uncommon" by Willem Kuipers, which I am currently enjoying, uses other terms like ximension and Xi which can more objectively examine and discuss the extra dimension and state of living for those in this basket.

'It's all just labels and doesn't really matter. Just be yourself', I hear you cry!

And there is truth in what you say. Having a label doesn't really change things, but it can help with self acceptance when you feel estranged and struggle to understand your own mind, your own intensities. It can be a shortcut to finding your own tribe, and others who can give advice on how to handle situations and thoughts. I have benefitted greatly from the Intergifted Facebook group.

So this is where my mind has been playing lately. I even took a weekend off by myself at the beach to wrestle with my thoughts. Hence the photos. It was glorious!

Til next time,

keep on creating!

Love

Jazzy Jack

BeautyScope 332: Will you be my Valentine?

two shells

found themselves

on the beach

This post is for my Bushy,

my sweetheart, my love...Cris 💛

Tablecloth Coat Tutorial and some other clothes

Greetings lovely people!

A little while ago I posted this photo and asked if people would like to know how I made the coat.

A few people said yes, so here it is!

My beautifully professional drawings describe the process.

Firstly, take one linen tablecloth from the thrift store. Find some napkins that have lovely embroidered hemming. Dye them to match with this and that.

Then fold the tablecloth with two sides to the centre, and cut some armholes, like so.

Sew two napkins into sleeve shapes, making sure to highlight the beautiful hemming.

Then stitch the top of the tablecloth partway along the shoulders. Attach the sleeves at the previously cut holes.

Fold over the collar and voila, a coat!

Most of the hemming has been done for you. Very quick and easy.

I hope you like it!

I've been into my stash of linen tablecloths lately, and came up with this one yesterday.

Based on a pattern by Tina Givens called "Drennon" which is a free pattern on her website.

http://www.sewtinagivens.com/free-bee-patterns-c20vk 

I adjusted the pattern by sewing up the sides so it becomes a dress instead of a tunic.

In the heat it is the coolest thing I own...it barely touches me! It has a waist panel and crossover side pieces. It showcases the beautiful fabric so well.

I wore it today with this silk wrap I picked up secondhand the other day for $8!

I can't decide which side is best...this, or this!

I have a feeling the dark side suits me best, which is the underside.

I have another orange outfit to show you from my rather large orange stash, that just keeps growing!

 This dress is lovely and cool, and really suits me I think, but it is polyester, and will cling to my legs. Grrr!

Another orange lover in the family! All the best people.

I happened to have this lovely silk jacket in the cupboard which works well with this.

The necklace is a carving from PNG along with a chain of coconut shell beads. Bought separately but made for each other. I can't believe it's taken me this long to put them together!

My earrings were bought in Arizona. Handmade of semiprecious stones (although precious to me...what sort of word is semiprecious - damned with faint praise!)

Anyway! There is a fine black line carefully inserted between the two colours. Beautiful handwork.

Please forgive me, I am having difficulty blogging at the moment for whatever reason. This will have to be a place holder until I get my act together.

I am busy sewing and knitting and researching my interests, including unschooling and giftedness.

Just busy living at the moment.

Much love to you all.

Til next time,

keep on creating!

Jazzy Jack

 Bye!

Linking with Modish Matrons - although I am not Modish I am a Matron
(going as is despite the Folk Theme)