I have been thinking about ageing, a common preoccupation.
I wonder if we are actually as accepting as we think we are. Or if fashion has changed as much as we imagine.
Being on the older side (although there is always someone who is older who would dispute that), I feel able to comment.
Take the phenomenon of older models springing off the success of blogs like Advanced Style.
I notice they all seem to be an extension of our current obsessions. Yes, these people have grey hair and wrinkles, but they also have small waists and abundant locks as well as firm jawlines.
Where are the models with thinning hair, thicker waists and sagging necks?
I am currently post menopause, and all these are my current reality.
Wouldn't we do ourselves a favour if we gave ourselves role models with these realities as well?
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Many times I hear being a grandma used negatively. Recently for example, I read a blogpost discussing why we should support craft, and not use disparaging terms to describe it. They mentioned someone saying they looked like a grandma when they knitted. Their argument being we should support craft more and stop using negative comments such as this around it. While I take their point about craft, my gut reaction to that is,
Why is being described as a grandma seen as negative?
Surely we can be grateful to reach Grandma status and longevity? What is wrong with being seen as a grandma? Does it mean we have given up in caring for ourselves? Or do we just care in another way? Do we care more for relationships than looks?
I feel our acceptance has only scratched the surface and is just a subtle extension of our current mindset. Maybe we can try a little to examine our own thoughts and realise the reality of ageing.
Sometimes these days, although I struggle with all this as much as the next, I find myself being grateful for the saggy skin and the grey hairs appearing because it helps me viscerally realise my mortality. The response to which has to be not depression, but joy in the moment. Because we are not guaranteed the next. Anyone who has had sudden disasters befall them would attest to this.
How grateful we are for our wrinkly fingers when we hear of someone who has arthritic joints and can't use them.
How grateful we are for our thinning hair when we hear of someone who has had brain surgery.
I know this seems drastic but it really can change your mindset when we realise how privileged we really are, even in our golden years.
Have you ever seen those photos of old people with multiple wrinkles in their cheeks? Like their life is written on their face? They are often the ones chosen by photographers. Aren't they fascinating?
I for one hope to be ageing on the outside but not the inside. To have a smile and a genuine love for life and those around me. To be the person others want to spend time with.
So lets hop out there into the world and celebrate our ageing and fragility. It really is a beautiful thing.
Lots of love,
Jazzy Jack
