Blogging woes and BeautyScope 455

 Hello my dears,

I have received a notice to say that Blogger will no longer be supporting the email feed I had. So until I can sort out a replacement we will have no emails for the dozen hardcore fans who signed up. Apologies for that.

And to add insult to injury I have managed to erase my sidebar while playing with things. So will have to work on that!

Here is a new BeautyScope for you.

how amazing that a splash of water

will open the door

between worlds

11/5/21

Love,

Jazzy Jack

No Comment

Hello darling ones!

Don't fall over, it's me again. Ha!

I have been thinking lately about comments on blogs. That lovely tangible evidence that someone reads and sometimes likes the words we send out. The meandering thoughts we gather and tie up with a bow. How much we long for them, at least I do. But lately I've been wondering if my relationship with them is a little needy. I wondered about switching off my comments box, but then I would miss the real connections that can be made.

When no one comments I am tempted to think "they don't like me", or I sit there making up excuses like maybe it isn't daytime yet, or people are busy.
I often feel online like I do in real life. I think I've said this before. So when I don't get comments I feel like an introvert trying to put myself out there at a party and nobody notices.

I wonder how many comments would be "enough". If I felt no comments meant I wasn't a worthy blogger, how many comments means I am? It seems rather silly when put like that.
Maybe it's not about the number of comments but how deep our conversation goes. How much we can share of our lives and feel supported, or enlightened.

Here I must admit to delight when I have visited more prominent blogs which have no comments at all. It almost feels freeing. "See they don't have any comments either!"

Of course we all know that seeking external validation is never a wise move. But I am a born performer, despite my introversion, and love an audience. I love the give and take and the sense that more has been created by our interaction than I could ever do on my own.

This is the crux of why I blog. To have a connection with another and to somehow together create something in each other's lives that enlarges us.

To put our random thoughts together and pile them up until they create a wonderfully idiosyncratic sculpture against the skyline. Leading our eyes towards the setting sun.

Having taken this as my topic today I am fully aware it may seem like I am begging!

While I am so totally grateful to those who have visited and shared their stories, I am also aware that I don't always have words to share on others' blogs, so I do understand.

I leave you with a lovely image of the sea and my gorgeous man with his faithful friend. We could take a tip from the sea. So many waves, but not every one is greeted with shouts of joy. But still they come. Maybe this is a little fanciful, but you get my drift. Ha! Drift?

Many hugs to you all,

Love,

Jazzy Jack

Hello and video

Greetings my friends,

Here we are after months with no action on my blog!

I am struggling to know what to write these days as I have no interest in my BeautyScopes and fashion. 

I have done a video recently so thought that could make a blogpost.

Here we are with Miles' photography experiments (hopefully you won't get seasick), his latest building project, and Aiden's new electric scooter which has given him back the world.

(Due to his chronic illness his fitness has really dropped, so he was even having trouble walking. Now he has explored with his scooter, he has also started riding Cris' electric bike, and a teeny tiny bit on a normal bike. His fitness is coming back, and with it our sparkly eyed boy. Such a great investment, and something I think people should accept as a mobility aid. Currently they only accept wheelchair type vehicles which are cumbersome and not as cool for a teenager...or older person! OK, enough ranting.)

Here is the video:

Behind the scenes I have also started work on a book of poems. Don't hold your breath, but I write it here to keep me accountable :-)

Here is one I wrote recently:

Away from the sea

I crave endless space

Space to take a breath

And play

No crowding

Or expectations

Or hard edges.

I need an enormous sandpit

Big enough to run in

To put my life

Into perspective

The waves don't care

If I hit my deadlines

Or have a clean house.

I can settle back

Into the groove

And flow

20/11/18

Til next time,

keep on creating!

Love

Jazzy Jack

Aspie internet overload

Hello my friends!
I have new glasses!

Recently I have tried to get back to things I do easily and naturally. Things that I was born to do. Playing the piano came to mind. It is something I've done since I was four that was self organised. It is my happy place. I learnt to read music as I learnt to read words. I am as fluent in one as the other. So why don't I play the piano much these days? When I sat down to play I realised my progressive lenses make it difficult to see the music so I ordered a new pair ( see above). Well, let me tell you. That was the best decision! I had thought I was getting rusty and so that was why I was making so many mistakes. Little did I realise that I was actually avoiding looking down at the keyboard because it was visually too trippy to keep flicking back and forth to the music. So I was effectively playing blind. I'm amazed I did as well as I have. This has been going on for years and I had no idea! How we are expert at fooling ourselves. Anyway, now I can see again I'm playing so much better I want to play and play! I feel I have been given the gift of music all over again.

I have started writing little daily missives to a couple of friends. With one of them I also share yoga and spiritual reading and with the other writing. So every day we share our stories of deep thoughts or poetry about the details or just express frustrations we can't do a yoga pose or how we can't understand our kids or whatever comes up. For those who like me are fairly isolated this is such a wonderful practice. I started it to help keep me in touch with a friend who lives in another country. Now not only are we coming up to our third month of daily letter writing, we also keep each other on track with our daily yoga practice. It's amazing what you can drag out of your body when you feel the
strength of another's gaze.

This is in contrast to my years on the internet on social media. I have been trying to come up with an analogy for how that feels. It feels like standing in a party watching groups of people having conversations, and going around gently chatting, and then finding that each group is joining hands and you are being circled slowly around the room, and then it gets faster and faster as the music rises and you find yourself being swirled off your feet as you run from person to person and group to group calling out comments to conversations that are already past and your words are sprayed out into the general noise and at the same time the music stops and you are still shouting and you feel so exposed as everyone turns to stare and you find you have been dancing naked to a tune noone has heard and although they murmur kind words you realise they have no idea what you've been saying so you quietly leave after maybe murmuring an apology and they all turn and keep chatting amongst themselves and the music starts up again and they are happy and laughing and almost euphoric in their friendships and you are all alone.

So I am feeling a little left out of the party, but I prefer to think of it as peeping through the curtains to watch the party goers and smiling.
You can have your party and I will write to a couple of people and have in-depth conversations.
Not that you are not having in-depth conversations, but I can't manage more than two or three at once. I am often critical of myself and my needs which seem way more than others to the point of not being able to function. But I also think I am forced to think about how I use my energy way more than another, which has allowed me to find practices (after much trial and error) that suit.
I seem to write blog posts only about that these days, but that is what my life is about right now. (Hello Aspergers!) Taking a break from the norm to see if I can find a better way that suits me and my energy, so I can groove a bit more instead of slogging and forcing. I like to think that I might help another find a better way for them if so required.

As Thomas Merton once said:
“To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”

Settling down to just one or two projects is akin to what I've been doing in my wardrobe. Currently I am exploring French Style. I am finding it interesting to restrict the colours and the cuts. To make the look more structured and less messy. I may not stay here, but the exercise is very enlightening and bringing in my love of cool coats and jackets. So at the moment I seem to be leaning towards neutral separates with colourful jackets and interesting accesories. I'm hoping I can keep my own style and flavour within a more structured guideline.

And speaking of looks, I am also exploring growing my hair ( see photo). It is nice to feel a little softness around my face again. It is still a work in progress as I test the waters of longer hair and sense how straight or curly I should go.

Yesterday we had much needed long soaking rain and I wrote this poem.

the trees are dripping

with tears of joy

gratefulness pouring

down their trunks

gleeful roots

feast on moisture

as the world

breathes a sigh

of relief.

6/9/18

This is how I am feeling being able to connect back into my own soul ...and breeeeeeeeathe.

So my lovelies, we may catch a glimpse of each other to wave as we pass and even have time occasionally to chat for a second or two. But my energies are required elsewhere right now and I know you who are my friends will understand. I wish it was not so, and I could rush madly around the world making friends and sharing all the fun stuff I make and see, but somehow this is not what I am here for. I am the person who sinks deeply into the soil and grows the flower for none but the bees to see.

Til next time,
keep on creating! (Whether you and I can share it or not)

Love,
Jazzy Jack
PS I still hope to keep posting here every now and then when my soul requires :-)

Leaving social media

Subtitled: Stop reading about others' lives and start living your own!

Recently I left Facebook and Instagram...again.
This is probably not news to most of you.
However I thought I'd share what it has felt like on the other side.

The main reason I did the big leap is because I found myself very close to depression, if not in it.
I constantly had unexplained feelings of sadness which wouldn't go away.
Being the creative person I am, I wondered if my lack of creating could have some part in this.
But I found my headspace empty of ideas and motivation.

When I really sat down to examine it, I realised my mind and time were taken up with following others' lives and commenting on their problems and triumphs. Even the groups that I love and were the reason for returning to Facebook this time, were taking up more of my headspace than I wanted, and weren't delivering enough in return. I was looking madly for inspiration in the online world when I realised I should be looking within myself.

Me on my seat at Dolphin Beach

But to pull the plug was a very drastic step, and I procrastinated thinking with a little more will power and organisation I could manage it. I tried rearranging my apps to folders and different screens to remove the temptation to just check in one more time. I tried unfollowing so I didn't receive things in my feed that made me feel depressed. I tried restricting my online time to certain hours of the day.
But still the feelings of sadness persisted, and my kids started noticing.

Alarm bells ringing!!

So the only other thing I could think of to do was to pull the plug. I did worry that my work online would go unnoticed again. Who would read my blog posts and see my YouTube videos? But I decided too much was at stake, and I'd just have to trust that the people that needed to would find their way here. 

My first step was to remove the FB and IG apps to see how that felt. When I took this step I felt such a rush of relief I knew I was on the right track. Of course I then had to take the time to politely say goodbye, so I had to reinstall them, and wait around for a few days until the replies rolled back in! Because I am a polite person like that.

The upshot of this rather confusing account is that my feelings of sadness have gone! YAY!

One of the creative pursuits I have embarked on has been to make a dress out of an old tablecloth and t-shirt offcut(see above) This tablecloth was one used at our wedding that had developed a huge stain and hole in the middle. So I trimmed the hole to make shoulder straps and stepped into it to make a handkerchief hem skirt. The base of a t-shirt I turned upsidedown to make the bodice. I had previously dyed them in some natural dyes, so that is why they suggested themselves to me as partners. I love wearing it, and it will be very cool in summer. Here I am wearing it.

Other creative projects have been to:
Make a pair of shorts out of an old sheet (in process)
Mend a dress with holes with boro mending (in process)
Mend various other boring projects on the pile. (By the way, boro mending is surprisingly strong. I mended the crotch in a pair of jeans with it and it withstood a trip camping. I suppose it was used by  Japanese workers so it would have been strength tested!)
Join another choir. This time I am returning to my roots rejoining a singing group run by my former singing teacher.
Start gardening for the season, putting out a few new plants to fill the huuuuge gaps in our massive garden.
Convert the old spa sitting dead in the corner of our backyard into a fishpond. (in process) This one is a huge boon to my soul.



Note wooden floating sculpture (offcut from Miles' gun making project). The fish love to hide under it until we get some water lilies.

My soul has become more soothed and my mind feels emptied and stiller since I removed all the other (wonderful) voices.
I am able to take time to assess my surroundings, spend time in nature, and be inspired by nature's social media.

Tuross Heads

I do think this is a particular problem for my personality type. I am a sensitive old thing, and take on all the wonderful and not so wonderful feelings around me. Although I work hard at different techniques to stay grounded and present, and try to shield myself from others' angst by putting up boundaries, I must admit I'm not very good at it.

Miles at Dolphin Beach (don't jump in!) Isn't that the most gorgeous wave?!

When I received an email from IG about comments that had been left on my wall I realised I had left things incomplete so I went to look. While I was there I started reading posts and could feel the stress rising in my body again so I quickly backed away and hopefully closed down my site and email subscription properly this time. But it was an interesting exercise to confirm my decision.

I must admit to missing the lovely groups I joined, which is why I went back to FB this time. And I miss the little day to day connections with my friends. But I don't miss the pull on my time and my mind, and the sadness that accompanied it for whatever reason.

So the social media world will have to get along without me. I am still active on Pinterest and YouTube.

Speaking of YouTube, here is a creation I made recently. It is a compilation of fun moments on the beach I haven't used yet, set to some pretty music. I hope you enjoy it.

 

til next time,

keep on creating!

 

Love,

Jazzy Jack

Gauzy philosophy + BeautyScope 286

Firstly, thanks so much for your warm comments on my last post.

Sometimes things that seem a negative in your life can open up new improved pastures.

Yes, I know, New Age speak. (Do people even refer to New Age anymore?)

We had a run of difficulties last year including my son's declining health leading to us removing him from school. This year we have embraced homeschooling not one but two kids.

This may seem like a disaster, but it is actually suiting us beautifully.

Disaster turned into joy.

But if we hadn't had the difficult challenge that wrenched us from our current routine, we never would have found this current wonder.

Similarly I've been struggling with my blogging commitments as you may remember. Since my holiday I've had to remove myself and felt a dryness and deadness which worried me. I wondered if the blog was on the wane due to the other energy requirements in my life.

But with wise counsel from you all, and some talking to myself, I think I've come up with a plan.

To continue blogging when I can, when I have a fun idea or artwork or news to share, but without any timing requirements. As my wise friend Natalia says, " I think we sometimes take our blogging responsibilities too seriously". I certainly tend to take on responsibility like a cruel task master, but no more!

So all this means I have now come through to a better place which will suit me more.

I will enjoy my blogging time and won't feel pressured to perform.

So don't despair if you are currently fighting through changes...there is fresh air to come!

a lifetime's meetings

cobwebs fine

precious networks

glisten across time

I hope we can continue to reach out to each other across the maelstrom of our daily lives.

Much love,

Jazzy Jack

PS I recommend signing up for posts as they won't be on any regular schedule! Just enter your email in the box at the top of the sidebar on the right.

 

Hiatus

What a beautiful word.

A space between but not an end.

We have had a lovely hiatus where we visited the beach for a month.

Such a blast.

I enjoyed the blogging and online break.

But now we are home and I'm struggling to reengage.

In my day to day offline life I feel I am nesting. Creating a new space for my young ones to learn.

I spend my days gardening and rearranging the furniture. Finding new storage solutions and dreaming of new organisation.

I feel little interest in showing my clothes as I have become enamoured of my smaller (but still interesting) wardrobe.

I feel I've said it all with my BeautyScopes.

I'm going through a dry spell and concentrating my energies elsewhere.

I also feel what I do have to say has been said before by so many, so much more eloquently!

I am not creating much except mess...but eventually I hope to have a new space for sewing. A studio if you will. At the moment it is the room all the junk is temporarilly stored in.

So we will continue the online hiatus until the brain kicks back into gear after this time of flux.

But we did have the most astonishingly wonderful time away at the beach!

The view from our deck at the holiday house

All my love,

Jazzy Jack

 

The famous pink boxing gloves

Recently I received THE pink bloxing gloves from Ally of Shybiker.

These gloves have been everywhere man. Used to express various ideas of femininity.

I thought I would have a go at adding my two cents.

This time I thought I'd explore in the Australian National Botanic Gardens with Mr Actor being the photographer.

I wore my most feminine dress, with a more masculine shirt and Bushy's Akubra hat.

Enjoy!

 

Arrived at the gardens.

 

Little did we know a surprise awaited us.

 

A note explained that there was an invisible monster on the loose and whoever could draw the gloves out of the stone would have to fight it.

Who will do this daring deed?...

After a short amount of coaching it was into the fray!

 

With a ...

 

And a ...

 

And a ...

The match was on. But oh dear, it soon turned sour as my inexperience told against me.

It was all...

 

And ...

 

And even...

 

But with a mighty heave...

 

The tables were turned.

 

It's a knockout!

 

And not a moment too soon.

 

Of course afterwards there were press shots to take showing my glamorous side.

After which I could leave with a clear conscience knowing the gardens were safe once again for all!

 

That was fun!

I was exploring the stronger and the softer sides of femininity in a visual manner.

Thanks so much Ally for allowing me to play and sending the boxing gloves all across the world!

I hope they enjoyed their second visit to Australia.

This took place in the Red Centre section of the gardens where they have recreated the growing conditions of the red centre of Australia.

My dress and shirt were both thrifted.

Til next time, keep on creating!

Love,

Jazzy Jack

 

PS Feeling very visible so I'm linking up with Visible Monday over at Not Dead Yet Style. Patti is also wearing black and white!

Also linking with Not dressed as lamb - #iwillwearwhatilike The theme is pink /red which is appropriate! Come and see pink and red and orange together...yeah!

 

Did I say that?

There is nothing like making a statement online, to make me change my mind.

Recently I blogged that I couldn't comment on others' blogs much, and then proceeded to do just that because I couldn't help myself.

Last post I said I didn't feel like blogging much and now I find myself working on Photography and Outfit posts!

Contrary? Me?!

I think I just like bouncing from one extreme to the other. Not much given to middle ground, me :-)

So here is my contribution for Visible Monday.

Bushy and I went out on a date on Sunday Afternoon which we hope to make a regular outing.

I feel very visible in my blue.

To a tea house/cafe.

I was in drapey mode.

Poor down trodden explorers

It's Spring!

See all the buds?

Trying some walking shots...on your mark...

...Get set...

...hello!

Come and visit the other stunning Visibles.

Patti is wearing linen (my favourite) and a mysterious octopus!

Love,

Jazzy Jack

PS Linking with Kezzie and the stunning Mr Badger for Tardis Tuesday and My Closet Catalogue

 

Why not leave a three word impression (poem) or a smiley if you enjoyed your visit? :-D

Spring makeovers

Hello beautiful people!

As I lie here in bed I can hear my budgies chirping brightly to welcome the new day, which reminds me of our latest adventure.

A few weeks ago I was feeding them and suddenly noticed we only had one budgie. One of our two was missing. Somehow, although I hadn't seen her go, Blueberry our female had escaped!

Sometimes things that happen in life can open up space for another adventure. So the family picked me out a new bird as a surprise (Blueberry had been a Mother's Day gift a few years ago).

Topaz a yellow budgie arrived. As they were buying her they noticed the tiny quails at the bottom of the cage in the pet shop which Bushy particularly liked. So for Father's Day we went and bought some.

In order to house them we had to renovate the bottom of the cage which had been dark with a piece of black plastic across it and the budgies never used it. So we changed that to perspex and now the budgies and the quails live there.

We have a little white and brown spotted one called Snowy(see below) and a brown one you see above, called Rustle.

They were named after the chickens we left behind in New Zealand.

Quails are more like chickens in habit than budgies, but they all get along well so far. We have learnt that the quails don't like wind, so keep a cover over them on windy days so they can venture out or they spend the whole day huddling in their house.

They are entertaining to watch like chickens, and keep us all entranced.

Especially the cat who is convinced he can reach them from his cage.

And the dog has a good sniff every time she passes to check they haven't got out yet!

 

Aren't they cute?

Another adventure has been building my new tiny garden to screen us from the driveway when we use our courtyard. It uses some secondhand Ikea bedheads for a fence. Baby steps!

I planted butterfly bush, pigface, snowinsummer and some strappy and succulent groundcovers. Now we wait and see which I can kill!

I'm happy with it so far. (Bushy will remove the cable ties when the cement sets!) We are not ruler straight gardeners, and tend to work organically :-) Don't you love the backlighting and shadows?

Another recent project resulted in what Mr Artist calls "Sky Squiggles".

I threaded all my miscellaneous beads leftover from many projects on to wire

and hung them as tree jewels.

They catch the light beautifully. Much better than storing them in a jar in the cupboard!

So with new birds in the aviary, sky squiggles above, the new garden below, the courtyard has had a little makeover. It must be Spring!

Which brings me to my apology. I am not feeling like blogging or writing or even photography. My energies are being spent in more concrete crafts like digging the earth, making objects, and tidying the house. I feel the need to ground myself this season.

Against advice I have removed Mr Actor from school at the moment as he was losing too much weight due to tension trying to stay at school (due to his OCD) causing his IBS to play up. And his compromised immune system just can't cope with all the bugs. This was a hard call, going it alone on instinct against expert advice. Time will tell if I'm right, but it is a lonely scary road!

So I am using most of my blogging time being homeschool teacher and OCD support. When I have a minute I send a photo to Instagram and dig in the earth. It is my sanity place right now, holding me still.

I am flitting around your worlds peeking in the windows and admiring your beauty!

Tweed and velvet both secondhand. Tweed vest made from men's jacket with sleeves removed and back darts inserted.

Bushy has had some fun moments on TV and radio recently talking about the latest report on global tree numbers. Have a look at his post.

And here's a wall squiggle made by a random cord left hanging in our bathroom.

See the face?

Til next time, keep creating and living in your wonderful unique strength!

Much love,

Jazzy Jack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why not leave a three word impression (poem) or a smiley if you enjoyed your visit? :-D