"Too Costumey?" No such thing!

I'm aware this sentiment may be controversial, because there are those that are adamant that wearing a "costume" in every day situations is anathema to them. I myself have never really understood this, maybe because I don't feel tied to the normal social strictures.

As a person who enjoys being on the stage in a costume and exploring another persona, I feel costumes can bring benefits. If you are wanting to dress more dramatically, or keen to try a different style, sometimes it is difficult to know where to start.

 

If you head to your most approximate costume...for example, Twenties flapper dresses, you can try the style without having to think too much about it, and by trying you can work out which parts to keep and which to discard. 

I feel strongly that we don't allow ourselves and each other to play with our adornment. There are so many fashion police ready to crucify someone for putting a foot to the left or right of their own standards. And that is all they are, standards they have set up by themselves, and should be for themselves as well. But somehow we feel OK to extrapolate our taste on to others.

I could cry when I see people being stifled by society's norms. Being a gender warrior I have had more to do with this than most, meeting those trans* folks who all their life have felt too scared to dress the way they feel inside. Can you imagine? It's just cloth! No one will be murdered by someone removing some fabric from between their legs aka wear a skirt.

Isn't it fantastic when you see someone feeling themselves in their clothing and in their skin? Don't you want that for everyone, including yourself? Maybe if we stopped judging others we might also loosen our own stringently held beliefs, to allow a small play time here and there.

The only time I feel someone might be costumey is when they are wearing an outfit that is overwhelming their personality. The clothes are wearing them rather than vice versa.

Of course this will happen at first when trying a new look, but then we should listen to our instinct...not our judgemental voice...and refine until it feels right for us! Until we feel free and funky and just right. Until we finally feel we are letting our souls express on the outside of our body.

Naturally there are certain looks that are more elegant than others, and looks that are inherently more boisterous. These will suit different personalities, and some people will swap from one day to the next.

As long as we are all having fun being creative, expressing our true selves and letting each other be...I see "being costumey" can be the gateway to a new sartorial world.

'Til next time,

keep on creating

and showing your real beauty to the world.

Love,

Jazzy Jack

Mushy Bushy Valentine

For Valentine's Day and for Anne of Spy Girl's I Heart linkup, I would like to tell you a love story. A story about love so strong it couldn't be shaken even by forces that would break many relationships.

This is a story about my wonderful husband Bushy.
 

After I had my two miracles ( the kids we were told we would never have), I seemed to undergo a change. I found myself questioning my sexuality, and subsequently my gender. Over a period of years, and much counselling, I started sorting out a few answers. One of the issues was whether I would stay married. Leaving aside the fact that I had two very young children, I was still in love with Bushy even if my feelings about myself and my attraction had changed. So after much soul searching we decided to stay together and create a new look relationship.

We created new ways to be intimate, and help us feel special.

Of course we haven't ever had a traditional relationship given my Aspergers. So being creative with our intimacy isn't a new thing.

 

One symbol of our love was our wedding rings, which we had designed. But part of my new thinking meant that the style of ring didn't sit well with me, so I stopped wearing it. But I felt naked without it. I wanted another symbol, so bought a new ring in which I felt more comfortable, and asked Bushy to engrave something inside. He kept it a secret.

Imagine my wonder and joy when he gave it to me, and I found he had engraved the word "True".

 

True to myself, and true to each other. Just totally sums up our journey.

So here I offer my tribute to my gentle-man...who still manages to blow me away!

Happy Valentine's Day my love.

 

Gender talk and dressing up

Well my dearies, I have just been doing something exciting! I have just been interviewed about my gender story to go on You Tube!

http://youtu.be/YGhtLLF6mhU

If you want to see me in action and hear my Aussie accent, have a squiz!

 I dressed up a bit, so thought I ought to take some piccies so it doesn't go to waste.

Here's a sneak peak...it starts with a tuxedo wing collar and pleats...

 ...watch your eyes, this one is bright!

Ah, here we are! I'm posing outside the front of our house to give you a different view. We live on a corner.

I'm wearing a secondhand paisley coat in lime green and purple (when I bought it, the lady said "We were wondering who would buy this"!) it called out to me from a rack of black. I think its a love it or hate it kind of coat.

Also on my bod I have some silk velvet dark green pants that are eight years old.

And my feet are shod in beige(oh no, not beige!)canvas boots by Rivers bought secondhand for $6.

My brooch is paua and is one I wore to my university graduation aka old!

My earrings were a gift.

Oh yes, and the tux shirt was secondhand as well.

What's that I hear you cry? Someone is in trouble?

Quick let me whip on my cape...

On my way!

Here I am to save the day! (Have I spent too long with 9 year old boys?)

 Later in the day I donned my sheep vest.

Here I am being arty inside a mirror and clock The Artist and I painted to look like a man. A person inside a person!

I'm linking up with the Secondhand First party 

over at The Citizen Rosebud.

Come and join the fun!

'Til next time, keep creating,

Jazzy Jack

Genderqueerness

Well now you've all been so nice to me, I thought I might expose a little of my underbelly to you.
I want to talk about my gender journey...eek...run for the hills! you cry.
So for those few remaining, I will continue...(clears throat).

My name is Jack with male spelling, because about 6 years ago I started exploring my gender expression after I started feeling like only wearing men's clothing. Then when I decided to try women's clothing again I had panic attacks.

So I headed off into the unknown territory to explore. Apparently it's quite common for people with Aspergers to have an unusual relationship with their gender and their bodies.
I wore only male gear for many years, but the blandness and unoriginal content was wearing down my soul. It seemed I was caught between my desire for men's clothes and my desire to decorate. I realised that I didn't want to transition to male, and that I was happy being genderqueer.
Then I had an epiphany, realising that because I felt like I was in drag when wearing female gear wasn't a reason to not wear it. I also felt a bit conflicted because I hold the belief that men should be able to wear skirts if they like, and dress decoratively in soft fabrics and bright colours. So I went back into skirts with that mind set and eureka, no more panic attacks!
So if I sometimes dress in an over the top manner like I'm wearing a costume, it's probably because I am:-) and that's OK!

I love my name because it is one of the few masculine signs I still have. Although I shaved the bottom part of my hair yesterday ( bad choice when weather is cooling!) and that has brought back some edginess to my look, which I love.
Speaking of names, I invented a name for my kids to call me as well as Mum. They call me "Madé" which is pronounced mah-day. I chose this because it has creative connotations, also looks a little like ma and da, and reminds me of my grandma who was called "Mardi".

I also changed my wedding ring, from a gold and diamond fairly standard ring, to a wide silver band. Initially I was going to get a men's signet ring when we became engaged, but I tried on the ring we eventually bought and changed my mind.
I wish I had listened to myself back then :-(
Anyway, Bushy being the gorgeous person that he is, took my new ring and engraved inside it the word "True". Being true to myself and being true to him! I love it!

It's an interesting space to inhabit, having a male name and looking like I do. People are constantly taken aback and I'm learning not to feel embarrassed or have to over explain. It's my life, and my name. I'm not hurting anyone!

So there we are. Anyone else have this experience? Or played with their gender expression?

'Til next time, keep creating!
Jazz