Hi friends!
Today I thought I’d chat about something that is big in my life right now. As you can see by the title, I am making my way back to the church.
If you don’t know I was born into a family of Missionaries in PNG and so my early years were spent in the Baptist church where I was baptised as a teenager.
When we returned to Australia permanently, we changed over to an Anglican Church, where I met my husband!
After getting married and travelling to Canada where we went to a Baptist church again, we moved to Canberra. We liked the idea of a local church we could walk to, so ended up at another Baptist church.
Unfortunately after I had my first child I started to question whether God existed and ended up leaving the church.
Over the next twenty years I have had different stints at other churches including a Pentecostal church in NZ.
However nothing really felt right.
Recently after a health scare I decided it was time to sort out my spiritual life once and for all!
And weirdly I can’t really tell you why, but I decided to try out a Catholic Church. It may be because my close friend goes to one.
I hunted around for the biggest Catholic Church in Canberra, and landed on the Cathedral. I then checked one of its services out online and it seemed pretty cool.
When I ventured tentatively in through the doors on Sunday, I was surprised by how many people there were. But it wasn’t too formal. There were kids around and lots of age and cultural range. It seemed a friendly place.
Of course I was massively swayed by the bells ringing as I approached, and the pipe organ and choir in the loft. The sides of the church were covered in stained glass pictures of the saints but it was still very light and bright.
Coming from a Protestant background I knew nothing about how the service would run. I was quite lost as to when to stand and sit and sing, but the service seemed quite like some of the Anglican services I had been to.
The clincher was that I felt such a sense of peace as I left that no other place has given me lately.
So back I went the next week. Over and over for the last few months now.
I am now attending the RCIA group, which is the group to investigate becoming a Catholic. It’s a place to ask questions, learn the lore, and make some friends.
At the first RCIA meeting this week I was hesitant whether I would return, but something changed part way through, and by the end I left with that same peaceful feeling. So I knew I was in the right place.
I’m not sure if I will stay. I’m not sure I can wrap my head around all the teachings. I’m not sure my queer family will accept my explanations and may feel alienated.
I hope not, because I am attracted to the love and holiness in the essence of the teachings, and the lives of the mystics, not the laws laid down by judgmental humans.
I believe our journey with God is between God and ourselves and he wants to welcome us with open arms.
So I am exploring in my tentative fragile way, following the peace.
For once I have found a place to put my spiritual life which makes sense to me. I hope I haven’t alienated everyone to get here.
Til next time,
Keep on creating!
(Even designing your life)
Love,
Jazzy Jack