Natural Medley

13 May 2014

I may be preaching to the converted, but when you hear about ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, for example, do not assume that person is putting it on. That it's a made up disease for the bludgers in life. These two disabilities among others, are difficult to talk about and to identify because they don't come with obvious physical deformities, like blindness. People can assume it is a catch-all description for the people who don't fit, who are a little more nerdy than the rest, who have some social skills difficulties.Don't believe it! There has to be serious inability to cope before these diagnoses are used.

I've had this thrown at me because most of the time I manage reasonably well, and manage to exit the situation before I've done too much. So people don't see how quickly I can go downhill and suddenly everything is like dragging a bus up a hill, or suddenly every sense is scrambled and I can't make my brain work.
Even small activities like deciding how to cook the dinner, which dish to cook first, all the steps that are required and in what order can be like trying to remember Pi to 13 places!
At the same time as your brain is scrambled so you can't organise yourself, all the noises seem too loud and screeching right into your brain, smells make you nauseous, everything and everyone seems too close and crowding.
Your pulse elevates, obviously, your muscles tense, and if like me you hold your tension in certain places, your neck muscles cause a headache and your stomach muscles cause nausea and heartburn. Your hands become shaky, and you start to rock and pace, trying to decide which activity to do first, but it all just see-saws in your head.
And finally, the piece de resistance, you start yelling or crying, or both, and you can't stop! Until some time after you are removed from the situation.

So when I tell receptionists who ask if I have a disability, yes I have Aspergers. It's because when I come to their clinic, I might be having a great day and sail through it like most people, or I could suddenly become a quivering mess that they can't get rid of, and don't know how to treat. I usually awkwardly pay with tears running down my face and rush off to my car, where I ring my hubby to talk me down before I get on the road and cause a crash!

I've overheard people say...I don't really go along with all that Aspergers or ADD stuff, as if we are being attention seekers that have somehow made it all up. I want to scream at them, but I usually let it pass because telling them how it is, is likely to set me up for unwittingly demonstrating it for them as I become overloaded.

I know other non-visible illnesses/syndromes/disabilities suffer with this disbelief, think back to conversations about bad backs, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, carpal tunnel etc. Maybe there are a few malingerers out there, but the vast majority of us are suffering and have been suffering often blindly our whole lives. We've been chasing answers, while you gifted able-bodied people have blithely accepted your ability to be whole and make your way without too much thought and calculation.
So if you happen to meet one of our invisibly disabled clan, please give them the benefit of the doubt and know that we really know what we are talking about!

End of rant!