Recently I left Facebook and Instagram...again.
This is probably not news to most of you.
However I thought I'd share what it has felt like on the other side.
The main reason I did the big leap is because I found myself very close to depression, if not in it.
I constantly had unexplained feelings of sadness which wouldn't go away.
Being the creative person I am, I wondered if my lack of creating could have some part in this.
But I found my headspace empty of ideas and motivation.
When I really sat down to examine it, I realised my mind and time were taken up with following others' lives and commenting on their problems and triumphs. Even the groups that I love and were the reason for returning to Facebook this time, were taking up more of my headspace than I wanted, and weren't delivering enough in return. I was looking madly for inspiration in the online world when I realised I should be looking within myself.
 |
| Me on my seat at Dolphin Beach |
But to pull the plug was a very drastic step, and I procrastinated thinking with a little more will power and organisation I could manage it. I tried rearranging my apps to folders and different screens to remove the temptation to just check in one more time. I tried unfollowing so I didn't receive things in my feed that made me feel depressed. I tried restricting my online time to certain hours of the day.
But still the feelings of sadness persisted, and my kids started noticing.
Alarm bells ringing!!
So the only other thing I could think of to do was to pull the plug. I did worry that my work online would go unnoticed again. Who would read my blog posts and see my YouTube videos? But I decided too much was at stake, and I'd just have to trust that the people that needed to would find their way here.
My first step was to remove the FB and IG apps to see how that felt. When I took this step I felt such a rush of relief I knew I was on the right track. Of course I then had to take the time to politely say goodbye, so I had to reinstall them, and wait around for a few days until the replies rolled back in! Because I am a polite person like that.
The upshot of this rather confusing account is that my feelings of sadness have gone! YAY!
One of the creative pursuits I have embarked on has been to make a dress out of an old tablecloth and t-shirt offcut(see above) This tablecloth was one used at our wedding that had developed a huge stain and hole in the middle. So I trimmed the hole to make shoulder straps and stepped into it to make a handkerchief hem skirt. The base of a t-shirt I turned upsidedown to make the bodice. I had previously dyed them in some natural dyes, so that is why they suggested themselves to me as partners. I love wearing it, and it will be very cool in summer. Here I am wearing it.
Other creative projects have been to:
Make a pair of shorts out of an old sheet (in process)
Mend a dress with holes with boro mending (in process)
Mend various other boring projects on the pile. (By the way, boro mending is surprisingly strong. I mended the crotch in a pair of jeans with it and it withstood a trip camping. I suppose it was used by Japanese workers so it would have been strength tested!)
Join another choir. This time I am returning to my roots rejoining a singing group run by my former singing teacher.
Start gardening for the season, putting out a few new plants to fill the huuuuge gaps in our massive garden.
Convert the old spa sitting dead in the corner of our backyard into a fishpond. (in process) This one is a huge boon to my soul.
 |
| Note wooden floating sculpture (offcut from Miles' gun making project). The fish love to hide under it until we get some water lilies. |
My soul has become more soothed and my mind feels emptied and stiller since I removed all the other (wonderful) voices.
I am able to take time to assess my surroundings, spend time in nature, and be inspired by nature's social media.
 |
| Tuross Heads |
I do think this is a particular problem for my personality type. I am a sensitive old thing, and take on all the wonderful and not so wonderful feelings around me. Although I work hard at different techniques to stay grounded and present, and try to shield myself from others' angst by putting up boundaries, I must admit I'm not very good at it.
 |
| Miles at Dolphin Beach (don't jump in!) Isn't that the most gorgeous wave?! |
When I received an email from IG about comments that had been left on my wall I realised I had left things incomplete so I went to look. While I was there I started reading posts and could feel the stress rising in my body again so I quickly backed away and hopefully closed down my site and email subscription properly this time. But it was an interesting exercise to confirm my decision.
I must admit to missing the lovely groups I joined, which is why I went back to FB this time. And I miss the little day to day connections with my friends. But I don't miss the pull on my time and my mind, and the sadness that accompanied it for whatever reason.
So the social media world will have to get along without me. I am still active on Pinterest and YouTube.
Speaking of YouTube, here is a creation I made recently. It is a compilation of fun moments on the beach I haven't used yet, set to some pretty music. I hope you enjoy it.
til next time,
keep on creating!
Love,
Jazzy Jack
Cute dress! Creativity is a healthy activity. Sensitive people (like you and me) need to protect ourselves from too much interaction with others. In the past, we weren't bombarded with information the way social media hits us now. I'm glad you're finding a balance for it. Modern life is challenging.
ReplyDeleteThanks! How do you manage your job as a sensitive person?!
DeleteI love the dress you made and I'm intrigued about the Japanese method of mending.
ReplyDeleteYou know my thoughts on the whole internet world, I turn the bloody thing off and have a 48 hour break once a week. I get so much done without unnecessary distractions. xxx
Some of us are more disciplined than others! 😜
DeleteI am so glad that you are finding your balance, my dear! The stunning photos of nature, your beautiful family video, your beautiful voice - all of it is so inspiring and fun and peaceful! I think for us, highly sensitive people, it is especially tricky to find a balance because we crave for interactions with the world, but MEANINGFUL and (at least for me) UPLIFTING interactions, and sometimes it is overwhelming and difficult to sort it out because many use social media for venting and complaining and informing everyone else what they think is wrong with the world, instead of bringing their inner light out. In such cases, I just unplug. I don't have a special schedule for it - I just do it as needed. We are all different, and we just need to do what works for us. I think your soul found what you needed - it is evident in this soulful and full of life post! Love the new top you made, and your new choir and all the home and garden projects sound wonderful.
ReplyDeleteTake a good care of yourself. Be you. Love you!
I want social connections but the internet can be like standing on the street and having a crowd run at you!
DeleteI am so impressed by all of you who manage it so well. I do cherish the friendships I've made.
See, I don't have such feelings. I ignore news and all sorts of verbal fighting. I live in my own universe, which I think makes me ignorant and terribly boring in the eyes of the vast majority. Most of times, I feel perfectly ignored by most of the world. If I compared it with standing on the street, I think the crowd would run right pass me without even noticing. :) Which is not such a bad thing if you think of it, to be left to yourself, not to be dictated what I should be and what I should do... freedom to just be ourselves and connect with others who resonate with us in some way, that's what Internet and social media gives us. Without it, I would feel so completely isolated. And I am thankful to those who stop by and say a few kind words every now and then. Which is what I try to give to others as well, a little kindness.
DeleteI'm glad you found your path. The dress is beautiful and I like the story behind it. And I enjoyed your video, the scenes toward the end were so peaceful. Stunning scenery everywhere. What a magical place you live.
ReplyDeleteI wish! This is our holiday place. I must do a post on Canberra.
DeleteI know you're not the only one that needs to step back from social media for their sanity. I stopped using FB and Twitter except for promoting my Etsy store. Now I'm only on IG when I feel like it.
ReplyDeleteI've felt a strong pull to stop blogging as well since it seems like I spend a whole bunch of time going nowhere with it but I hold onto that as a place to connect with people like yourself.
I love that dress you made.
I had to look up that type of mending. It is very cool too.
Life is short, fill it with things you love to do.
Suzanne
Pao is into boro mending too. It's fun for people who don't want to do formal embroidery but still like hand stitching.
DeleteI appreciate your writing so much. Where else could you do that? But you need to live your life.
What a delight to hear about all that you have been creating and doing since you pulled the plug on IG etc! It is really good that you have identified the source of your stress! I find that I do waste so much time on there and I really shouldn't be doing that thoough it doesn't make me stressed as such! I hope that you continue to flourish artistically and feel your soul uplifted again by all this. Creativity is wonderful! I fully concur with that!!xx
ReplyDeleteBy the way, your crashing wave picture above is utterly sublime!!x
dear jack!!
ReplyDeleteas a longlife depressive and very sensitive soul (a seismograph says the BW) i´m instinctively shied away from FB and insta. i feel comfy with the slow medium of blogging, but even there i have only 2 handful of blogs i reed regularly and no feedreader.
your little dress is very cute - and how lovely that it was the tablecloth of your wedding!!!
i know the feeling that comes when i have no time to create. totally understand you!
love the beach impressions - so gorgeous! :-D
xxxxx
Doing what feels right to get you in the head space you need to be in is vital my Friend. The only social media space I spend much time on at all are Blogs because mostly they are positive and very uplifting, the ones I choose to visit regularly. There is the temptation, when one is viewing the lives of others, to make unfair comparisons, and for me that can bring me down as everyone seems to be doing Life so fully and while Caregiving I know that I can't have so much Freedom to. When I see that beginning to affect my Head Space I back off from looking at the sanitized version of Life that can be portrayed online... everyone really has struggles as well as Joys, but all the best is usually Shared... most of the rest remains Private and we never get a glimpse into it, so it seems not to exist at all in their Worlds. But it does... and I'm so Glad you are Enjoying your decision so much and made that adorable little Dress! Virtual Hugs...
ReplyDeleteHi Jaq,
ReplyDeleteI was enjoying your recent photos here on your blog and thought I'd stop by to say hello. Your words in this post resonated again with me. I've been feeling so depressed and lost recently. And then last night, I finally deactivated my Instagram account because I found myself checking my notifications far too often and spending lots of time thinking about what I should post and what I should write in the captions and worrying about whether my photos were good enough... I think I just replaced my deleted FB account with my IG one. I transferred the problems of one to the other. This morning, I'm still feeling lost and directionless but maybe that will pass. Anyway, I hope you are well and happy. I will email for a chat soon. Have a good day!