Optimising equals perfectionism

Greetings my beauties!

It's been awhile since I could find the energy to write. 
This year I've struggled to find resources within me to put finger to keyboard.
My year has been a busy one, with extra singing commitments and appointments to address health concerns. In order to encompass these within my schedule I've implemented new organisational tools, including a new phone with shopping list and calendar capabilities. 
You may know that with my Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)/Aspergers comes executive dysfuntion, which basically means organising myself is a nightmare. I thought adding more tools to my belt would be the answer.
I hunkered down and tried to muscle my way through using optimisation. Let me tell you friends, at least for me, this doesn't work!
I have found myself encountering tension headaches at every turn.
What to do?

We recently had a sublime two weeks holiday at our beach cabin which helped, but as soon as we returned home, it all started up again.
Hmmm....

Yesterday I had an epiphany! I realised how all my optimising and organising is making me (probably due to my ASD) fall down the rabbit hole of perfectionism. I find myself, due to my inherent perfectionism, trying to optimise the tiniest engagements. Should I have breakfast first, or shower, or yoga?
Each of these takes brain space, but more importantly, body 
energy. I am so totally trying to make my life organised and
streamlined that I am overthinking everything. That doesn't sound like me! Ha!

So now I have a few words written on my bathroom mirror to help me shift my mindset. Things like : effortless attention, play, liminal, practice mistakes, let go, it's ok.

Part of my problem is usually in the past if I let go and go with the flow I tend to become immersed in my projects so much that I forget to eat. There must be a middle ground somewhere. But I'm going to give it another go because it seems more healthy than tension headaches every day, and screaming at the world to quiet down, or sobbing in the corner when I am showering.
Currently, as in yesterday and today, I am trying to
be aware of when I am trying to optimise my life and just go with the first one I thought of. Not trying to pick the 
perfect opportunity, or the perfect time or the perfect situation. Letting go and flowing with the current sounds way more relaxing to me.
Of course this involves making mistakes and oh boy, being a dyed in the wool perfectionist, my system does not like making mistakes!

Also having such a reactive and sensitive system, when I do go out I need a day or two to recover, which makes everything take so much longer.
I really think I've bought into the hurry hurry culture more than I realised, and am having to rethink everything. 
Will it really hurt to take another week to get the lights fixed in our family room?
Can I take another week to get Aiden some new glasses so he doesn't have to stickytape his (glasses) arm on?Can the dentist wait another month, or am I being a bad mother?

Homeschooling has also played a role in all of this, as I try to work out what I can let go of so I can be present with my kids.

Of course then we have the whole artistic personality that rears its head, saying "what about me?"! This is the voice that I ignore at my own peril, but I do it constantly. Recently I've been finding it has been almost impossible to even think about.
So yesterday, when I started being aware of my thoughts, I decided to practise allowing the day to flow without too much optimising. Suddenly I had the urge to start a knitting project...which I did.
Creativity had been waiting for a relaxed moment to pop into my life. I was so glad to see her!
I've realised in a visceral way that

Stressing and creating are opposing forces.

Will I succeed in this new mindset? Asks my perfectionist self.
Well my new mantra is " I do not have to do it perfectly", and that includes relaxation and making mistakes and letting go. Because you know I will darn well give it a try!
So if you are stumbling over your to do list, or the appointments seem hard to summit, you might like to join me in my quest for flow and slow.

Which camp are you in? Do you fall prey to the optimising imposter?