I feel a failure tonight
as I sit here in the park
bathing my stinging senses
with fountain splashes
and green scents
the reason is
I had to pull out
of a lake walk
with a special family friend
because I couldn't cope
with walking in a group
all my nerve endings
rose up and jangled
and I needed to remove myself
I hope I didn't
let the side down
sometimes doing
what feels right
also feels wrong
but if I can look after myself
this way
maybe I'm not a failure
after all.
17/9/21