Halloween/Hello in please come,Yoda!

Today for Share-in-Style Halloween over on Mis Papelicos I thought I'd show you my backwards jumper.
I cut a jumper up the back and turned it into a cardigan, because I liked the idea of the pattern on the back. Not sure how successful it was.
But I photographed it against the backdrop of Mr Artist's bedroom.
We allowed him to decorate his room, so he drew an abandoned army base, complete with spiders...as you do!
Here is the back...

and now the front!

I also crocheted pockets with lining, and then thought the lining looked too nice to hide, so swapped. So we now have insideout pockets on a backwards jumper!
Here is the inside of the pocket inset into the door. What do you think, should I turn them back to the front to show the crochet?

So now the rest of the artwork...forget about my jumper!
Here is the back of the door.
With safe lock, keypad, bullet holes and spy hole.

Then above his bed is exweaponry, a hatch, and a bedhead full of worms...of course:-)

This was the first wall to be arted.
The headless monster being painted coming through the wall was the first, followed by two flight simulators, then the army base decommissioning happened all around.

We love our creative kids, and can't really complain when they paint on their walls as we do too! I hope you've enjoyed this little Halloween jaunt around Mr Artist's creation.
Til next time, keep creating and showing the world your wonderful uniqueness!

Jazzy Jack 

BeautyScope 169: Yuccas connect

giant garden gears mesh
earth's breathing machine
lumbers into life

BeautyScope 168: Flowery creature

sea creature teleported
into space...!
or at least a nonwatery environment

Yesterday's experience

Yesterday I went on a picnic to the lake.
This is what I saw.
Look left (yes they are my feet)...

...look right


...look further right

(a windsurfer precariously balancing,
...and a duck)

...look further left...ahhh green trees!

Last night there was a mega sunset.

...ta da!
(I tried to interpret the colours as closely as possible.)

Free sky show for any who had the thought to look. 

Much love,
Jazzy Jack

Snakey blindness

Short and sweet today. Not long ago I went Thrift shopping...no surprise there!
This day, I scored 6 belts at $1 apiece :-)
This is the most interesting one, which looks like a snake...with one fang.
The fang bites through the holes. I love the touch of snakeskin like pattern on the edge. I assume its not real :-0

I wore it with my bias cut linen dress in white. Here with denim jacket to break up the whiteness.
There is a line of eyelet embroidery on the hem if you blow it up.

Because this is what my luminescent skin looks like after Winter.
White on white! You won't miss me. Sure see me coming!
I should employ someone to walk in front with a sign
"Caution wear sunglasses"!

Belt "Crochetta", dress, shoes: thrifted, necklace: old retail

This was in my mind for Visible Monday at NotDeadYetStyle but I missed it. Patti I was thinking of you!

'Til next time,
keep creating
Jazzy Jack

BeautyScope 166: Shadow

Photo by Mr Artist

shadow slides into place
in the yin position
second self formed 
by blocking the light

BeautyScope 165: Amputation

the tree
weeps blood
for its severed limb
in unresolvable grief

BeautyScope 164: Through the glass darkly

what is that?

full of dread

enchantment instead

Favourite print

What is my favourite print? If you have been following me at all, you will know I love a print!
Asking this is like asking who is your favourite child!
I have just as much trouble with what is your favourite colour?
The answer...it depends.

So here is an outfit that was gathering moss in my hard drive, which combines many of my favourite things.
Asian inspired print (brocade is almost a print) on the jacket, tribal patterns and embroidery on the top/dress, paisley inspired pattern on the hat, and silk velvet...everyone say aaaahhh...and give it a stroke!

The colours are some of my favourite jewel tones, and I feel very bohemian in it.
Its my relaxed day outfit...almost pyjamas but so much better!
Although someone came to the door when I was wearing it, with profuse apologies for disturbing my rest. So maybe I'm kidding myself that it doesn't look like PJs!
What do you think?

Jacket, top, belt, bag, shoes, hat,rings- thrifted
Pants - old

The shoes have since been donated, because although I adored them, I could only stand wearing them  
for minutes at a time. Basically they were my blogging shoes. Since I bought some others, I had to make room in the wardrobe. Bye bye!

Anyone else have blogging clothes?

Linking up with my friend Mis Papelicos Share-in-Style - Favourite Print
Hold the door Sacremento, I'm comiiiiiiiinnnnnggg!
Also linking with Sheila's Shoe Shine
Come and see the rad shoes!
Update: Sharing with Anne of SpyGirl's 52 pickmeup Hat Trick . Come over and see her cool ribbon hats!

BeautyScope 163: Old cupboard

keeper of secrets
battle scars flaking
bare of status 
warnings removed
basic and lowly
trusted with treasure
still life

(c) words and image ~JJ 2014.

The other side of me

I wrote the following to help me sort out my thinking, and I submit it here to inform, not to moan or accuse...

One thing I find that my Aspergers has brought me is the difficulty I find in doing something new. I love exploring the unexplored but it often brings much stress with it as my brain tries to sort it out. I know this sounds strange coming from someone who loves creativity and the unique! We are a bunch of contradictions.
I think the people activity is the stressor. Anxiety is common among Aspergians.

I am currently in the middle of falling apart over a wonderful opportunity to travel to New Zealand next month. I fall apart between dealing with the kids' school, finding animal/house sitters, organising the little details, and trying to ignore my fears that all will go wrong. Trying to pep talk myself that I can do it, and having confidence that I can cope with last minute emergencies like illness, especially the kids'.
Bushy has just discovered he is going to be in Sydney the two days prior, so I will be looking after the kids alone for two days, then packing and travelling to Sydney with the kids alone. Given my recent health problems I have become shaken in my ability to do it. And my confidence in this has never been firm! 

You lose confidence in your ability to cope when you have come crashing down and unable to push through. 
Imagine driving down the highway feeling all becoming too much, pulling over so you don't crash looking through tears, then ringing your spouse to talk you down to terrafirma. Then multiply this time and time again. 
Imagine doing this in front of your kids, time and time again. 
Imagine the horrors in your mind wondering how this is affecting them, seeing their supposedly in control parent crashing down. How secure do you think they feel? 
Imagine giving your son instructions for what to do if this happens in the airport. 
How confident would you feel embarking on the unknown?

I have difficulty prioritising. Everything comes at me at once and my brain struggles to make sense of it. This also relates to sensory experiences.
When I'm in the midst of my overload I can't get my brain to work enough to analyse what I'm really thinking, so it all becomes too much and I panic or become so overwhelmed I fall in a heap of depression. I really rely on outside help to keep my thought processes logical. Writing is useful also, hence this post, but has limited use in the busy moments.

I careen between blackness and brightness.

Sometimes the blogging business feels like standing by a busy highway waiting for a break in the traffic, and on finding it you surge forward to join in, and heaven help you if you slow down, so you paddle madly with your little feet going like Fred Flinstone. 
I often feel the need for a break from the cerebral action required in blogging the way we do, with meaningful comments left on each other's posts which lead to friendships. You know the other person is waiting for lovely comments as you are yourself. Tit for tat, in a good way. 
I know I'm not alone in feeling this pressure, as I hear others apologise for falling behind in reading and commenting. It seems a stress we all feel. Is it a good stress? Sometimes it is, but in my limited resources world it is often too much.

How to manage this? I have limited the number of blogs I read and comment on so I can keep up a meaningful dialogue, but even this becomes impossible sometimes. Woe betide if I stop, because I really can't catchup. When I return I madly run around reading and I feel the end in sight when I look to find more posts!
This is when I only comment on the recent ones and move forward, but then my brain niggles at me because I feel I've missed something!

The energy required to read and comment is immense because I have a very small processing memory (common amongst Aspergians). So while I am commenting on one part of a post, I forget the other things I wanted to say, so have to scroll back and forth. Maybe I need a pad to jot down as I go. Hmm good idea me!
But I think the weird thing is that when I read and comment I use as much energy as if I was having a conversation face to face. This makes it an enjoyable experience, but enjoyment can also cause overload! Did you know that? So when I read and comment on 10 blogs in a day, it's as if I've had 10 friends over to chat to. Something I would never attempt in real life!

I also stopped replying to your lovely comments on my blog. I'm not sure if this is sustainable as I really, really want to reply! This may be reassessed, but it seems a lot of energy required for something you may never read.

So there are times when all I can do is post, to add to the pool for you all to read!
And recently I'm even having trouble doing that! 
If I'm honest, I'm worried you will all forget me, just as I was becoming part of the group.
(Typical Aspie worry, am I part of the group yet? How do I become part of the group? Do I even like this group? Do I want to be part of this group?
Do I want to expend the energy required to join and sustain this group?)

I was attracted to the online world thinking I would be able to keep in contact with less energy than the real world. I also looked forward to exploring and sharing my creativity with others.
The reality has been that I definitely have shared my creative ideas, and they have grown. The part I have been surprised at is the genuine friendships I've made, and the people I have learnt from and admire. This I didn't expect!
So blogging helps me reach out in ways I wouldn't have dreamed, and helps me feel worthwhile in others' lives without leaving my house. It has helped me feel less housebound, and definitely added to my self esteem which badly needed a boost!

So thankyou my friends for your love, and joy spread into my little corner of the world, for the lessons learned and shared, and for the confidence you have given me. This is still a long project and I'm not giving up any time soon, but I wanted you all to know some of my thought processes, and perhaps inform a little more on the ways Aspergers can impact on you.
Of course it isn't all bad. Aspergers has given me many creative outlets due to my diffability...the different way of being.

Here, have a flower in thanks.

Much love,
Jazzy Jack

BeautyScope 161: Gradual ripening

slowly unfurling
peeling open
successively pop

Long weekend dramas, Fair Isle, and knickerbockers

Well our long weekend away has finished, only a week later. There were some dramas which caused it to streeeeetch!
First off, Bushy and the kids and the dog Winter took off in the campervan Brumhilda to take the dog to the cousins for many pats and looking after, as my parents are in a retirement home. Then they would come on to Mum and Dad's.
I was to take the car straight to Mum and Dad's to conserve my energy. The best laid plans...

I faffed about getting ready and looking forward to a leisurely saunter up the highway, stopping at a coffee place, taking lots of clothes as I had the car to myself.
Nearly finished packing and I receive a phone call from Bushy.
"Where are you?" "I'm still at home" "Oh" "Why?" "The campervan has blown up and we are stuck half an hour from our destination"
This is not the first time this has happened. Twice before we have been rescued from our campervan's engine problems.

So needless to say instead of my leisurely saunter, I ended up racing up the highway to pick up the kids and Winter in the four wheel drive (so Winter could fit...we have 3 vehicles) and continue the delivery, so Bushy could deal with the campervan.
I was in such a state by the time I got to them, and Bushy had calmed right down, having had two hours to brew a pot of tea, and read a book! The kids popped the top and played card games. Good thing it was the camper!

Elsie (land cruiser, geddit?) the knight in shining armour!

We pay premium insurance for this situation, and they towed the camper all the way back to Canberra. Bushy jumped straight into the car Olivia/Oliver (two names because the boys want Oliver, but Bushy only has female car names:-) and landed on my parent's doorstep at 11pm after 6 hours back and forth on the highway :-/
Fortunately Winter was charm herself and made many friends in the 6 child household. It actually was great I ended up at my sister's because her twins were doing a sewing project I could help with. Eg. Explaining the difference between facings and interfacings! (Hello you two, if you are listening. Hope all is going well :-) And of course catch up with my sister!

A photo of Winter showing off her charm.

Winter even lets Smart-Blue sleep in her bed. She is a true walkover..I mean, lady.

We had a lovely long weekend, visiting Bushy's mum and swimming in my parent's pool. Bushy headed home with Winter and we decided to stay another day. That was when I thought it would be OK to test Mr Actor on cauliflower again since he had been off it for years due to a suspected food allergy. Food allergies are the worst because it's so hard to identify the culprit! Unless you have the can't-breathe-quick-rush-me-to-emergency type! 
So surprise surprise, he felt sick, not long after, and we had to lengthen our stay. He has symptoms like he has been poisoned, with aches and pains, in limbs and headaches, and nausea. So now we know! And I promised him no more testing!!
(He is now feeling more himself)

I've been experimenting with Fair Isle knitting, and managed to produce some fingerless gloves with fleur de lis! Mr Artist decided they were mighty fine...hey, they were mine!

Definitely has a future as a hand model, not ;-)

I have a couple of outfits I haven't shared for whatever reason, so here are some knickerbocker outfits!

Knickerbockers - markets, 
Rayon shirt and crocheted vest - op shop, 
shoes -old, painted by me

Knickerbockers - vintage Etsy, 
wool dress, shirt, shell necklace - op shop, 
tights, socks, Converse - retail, old. 
Winter - very expensive model we hired to raise the tone of the shoot.

I've just been to see the Advanced Style Movie, and wore the red outfit(with a belt, minus the vest, with a new hat) Loved the movie. Such beauty, glamour, style and chutzpah! Alas no one offered to photograph me ;-)

Hope you have all been behaving disgracefully while I've been away. Will be over soon to catch up.

many hugs,
'til next time, keep creating and being unique!
Jazzy Jack

BeautyScope 160: Insect nirvana

giant play space
swaying dangerously
above our heads
all who attempt
the perilous climb
are promised nectar
beyond their wildest dreams

BeautyScope will be taking a break for a few days as we welcome a long weekend during the school holidays!
Off to Sydney to visit the families.
See you on our return.

'Til then, keep creating and showing your beauty!

Jazzy Jack