Hello my beautiful friends. I write this as I embark on another episode in my life.
I have been told I have to come off my medication which helps with my sensory overload, because I had an unusual ECG. It means either the medication is mimicking the effects of a heart attack, or I've really had a heart attack!
Either way I need to reassess during these next six weeks as I live through the withdrawal symptoms, and as I find what is possible during my post medication life.
I have had periods of coping reasonably well off medication but this time I'm not given a choice. I feel my pain, tension, foggy head and allergies all returning after one day's reduction. Fortunately this time I have access to a great yoga teacher online, through a resource I found on Judith Style Crone's website. Sixtyandme have partnered with Cat Kabira from Bali who runs gentle online yoga classes. These have really helped me, and are the first I could manage, after trying many over the years.
So I may find I need to make changes with my blog, either reducing the frequency of interaction, or changing the content. Or things could remain the same. I don't really know at this stage. But I hope you will stick with me and be patient as I navigate this new landscape.
I'm looking at this as an opportunity for learning about my body, about new ways of being, and about being held in the small moments of time. It may be that the grand dramatic vision I have for myself has to take a back step for a while, or be realised in the sum of tiny steps I will be learning how to take.
What I find hardest is saying NO to opportunities and people asking for help, and learning how to balance my energies in an elegant way.
I leave you with this lovely statement my friend said to me when she heard the news:
You have within you the ability to cope - you have and you do and you can. You have a good awareness and its about cuing in early to those warning signs. That's why we were given breath - take a few minutes to breath and reconnect with yourself and your centre of peace. The universe is providing an opportunity to explore you without medication. Being human is about making mistakes rather than perfection - take the time to treat yourself gently, ease off and nurture your beautiful being.
I hope you will join me in this new direction of nurturing and reconnection.
Let's explore
'Til next time,
keep on creating and showing your beauty to the world,
Love,
Jazzy Jack
Hey JJ- Looking forward to hearing about this next journey. Please take care of yourself, ok? I hope things get slowly better and the yoga helps! (and lovely photo btw!)
ReplyDeleteDeep breath ...dramatic pause ...then stride on to the new stage as if you owned it! We will be out there applauding from the wings.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like one heck of a scare. Yoga is wonderful, although classes are expensive here so I tend to use my Wii Fit yoga workout instead.
ReplyDeleteBlog less, live more but do share your journey when you have the time. We'll always be here for you. xxx
The future is always unknown so we just have to be optimistic and strong. Your friends will not desert you. If you need to cut back on blogging/commenting, we'll understand. We all go through phases in life. Good luck with this one.
ReplyDeleteI read a card yesterday in a shop and your post reminds me of the gentle message it contained on its cover. It said, "may grace and ease be felt in your life today and everyday"....something like that anyway. I wish that on you at this challenging time in your life. Tests and clinics are sobering places but you will gain new camaraderie in your new path you begin to venture down. I'm interested in the yoga link so thank you for sharing that. I'm thankful for the connection I have made with you and applaud you for taking the reins for a new self care plan.
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate your concerns and the fact that you just don't know how things are going to be. And that's tricky to cope with. I wish you very well, and hope that you'll be able to blog about your experiences; it's a great way to offload and get support. Take care, love, keep in touch! xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Leslie! So far so good. Not too many withdrawal symptoms. But I'm being careful.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be fairly driven, so this will be good in the long run I know!
The photo is one of my favourites :-) xo Jazzy Jack
Thankyou my sweet. I feel your support every day. A new stage...what a wonderful metaphore! xo Jazzy Jack
ReplyDeleteThanks so much sweet Vix. I tried the Wii Fit but got bored and annoyed with the instructor!
ReplyDeleteI bought one set of lessons and wach them over again, so not too expensive :-)
Thanks for sticking around. You rock! xo Jazzy Jack
This will be exciting and a bit scary but I love your friend's words and I know they are true. You are such a delightful part of this blogging world, such a positive, creative, beautiful person I am sure that wherever this journey takes you that you will have many supporters. Take good care of yourself and do what is best for you. I know how it is to have difficulty saying no, to feel that you must do things, must put others first, can never do enough. I live with those sorts of thoughts and feelings too. I do not meet my own standards so I am generally convinced I must not be meeting anyone else's either. Sending you love and hugs and support and always available to talk privately if you want or need to talk to someone who kinda gets it. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Ally! Optomistic and strong...not my better points, but maybe ths new phase will help with that :-) I feel like one day I'd like to have a go at your pink boxing gloves, but maybe I'm not feminine enough? How do you feel about masculine femininity? :-D xo Jazzy Jack
ReplyDeleteOh Joni, you know just what to say. I really needed to hear that, from one who knows:-)
ReplyDeleteI love that card statement. I'm starting an inspiration wall with little quotes. I'll put that one on it too!
My new self care plan...has a great ring to it :-D xo Jazzy Jack
Yes, I will definitely keep in touch. As you say, it is a great way to get support, as evidenced by your lovely comment. Wouldn't it be wonderful to meet?
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head...tricky to cope with the unknown. But I'm doing way better than I ever thought I would. Maybe when you are actully facing it you summon strength you didn't imagine was there. xo Jazzy Jack
Thanks so much Shawna! I know your life is curtailed as well, and you need to stop before you are ready, or even can't get going at all! I will definitely remember your kind words.
ReplyDeleteI feel your love and hugs and support all around me! You definitely do enough :-D love and hugs back xo Jazzy Jack
We join the crowd of admirers and those who love you to cheer you on your new path. Shawna's words are true. Be gentle with yourself our love and support always. D&M xxxx
ReplyDeleteJust a quote to add:
When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
Arais Nin
We can imagine your wings will be iridescent coloured ones.
So beautiful! Thanks! That one goes on the wall too. :-)
ReplyDeleteBuddy, we are ALL feminine and masculine. We can present ourselves any way we want, using both of those features. As someone born and raised biologically male, I'm proof of this when I dress as cute as a button. You could easily and effortlessly create an appearance as feminine, masculine or mixed as you wish. My point is we should use these options as opportunities, not seem them as limitations. The wide range of impressions made by the gals who've participated in the project so far demonstrate this nicely. Whenever you want the gloves, they're waiting for you!
ReplyDeleteTake care and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeletexx
Thanks Jo! You have put your finger on the nub of the issue! I'll try :-D
ReplyDeletecan i put my sign under the things your friend said to you?!
ReplyDeleteit´s totally right - maybe you should print it out in poster size and hang it up. and we are here! anyway what you are doing.
(sorry that i´m late here, i updated my computer and the function that showed that you posted something new did not work for a while.... and i´m not that good at computers :-/ but hubby has sorted that out now)
my thoughts are with you!!!!!! xxxxxxxx
My dear Jazzy Jack, I only now got to read this post. Nurture yourself the way you need. Listen to yourself - not the fearful voices, but the loving, kind, gentle voices in your head. Let the stressful thoughts pass you - they are like trains with heavy wagons. Let them go, don't stop them, don't pick them up. They will pass. Listen to birds, watch clouds, eat well and rest a lot. I'm glad that yoga helps! It helped me in a great way in one of the darkest moments of life too. I'm sending you lots of love, light, kindness, and I thank you for who you are. There is magic in life. just remember that it is there. it is called love. xxx
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm sure you are finding this scary and challenging. It sounds as if you have found some great coping skills though.
ReplyDeleteIt is all a balancing act this thing we call life. Learning where to put your energy and your focus is the most important. Listen to your body. It's the only one you've got. We'll be here when you are able to participate more.
Thinking of you!
bisous
Suzanne
Thanks Beate! Appreciate all the thoughts I can get. Trying to distract at the moment :-)
ReplyDeleteI feel the magic when you write. Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteJust read your traumatic Hospital visit and surgeries! Man! What country were you in again?! You certainly have been through serious health stuff. I know you know!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts. Much appreciated! :-)