The Blues, Perfectionist and Frivolity

The Blues
I had the blues this morning.
I think some of the blues was caused by my weight gain which has happened over the last six months, due to menopause or medication. This is causing issues with my wardrobe, so I am disinclined to want to share.
Also I am finding myself wanting to revert back to my boy clothes and I don't think they are as interesting for people to look at.
I've also had some health issues, with a sore neck that is resisting treatment, and multiple sore niggles in various parts of my body, which is causing a dip in my confidence and resilience.
I tend to get trapped in overwhelmness and overload when I'm in pain, due to my sensory processing issues.
If I paddle harder to get better e.g. seeing professionals, doing exercises, the extra busyness causes exhaustion which causes more tendency to overload.
If I stop and rest, my brain gets bored and I get depressed thinking I'm wasting my life away, lying on the bed.

Perfectionist
My tendency is towards earnestness and perfectionism 
(is that a term?)
When I was two my parents noticed I wasn't laughing much, so deliberately set out to find funny books to teach me to have fun!
I always have a clock ticking in my head, marking off the moments of my life, telling me to make sure every moment counts because I only have so much time living.
Unfortunately my perfectionist tendencies grab hold of this perfectly reasonable thought, and push me into doing the best and most perfect thing, every single moment of every single day, otherwise I've failed!
So couple this with my Aspergic tendency to not like small talk, and I find I struggle to chat and have fun on my blog.
I realised I hadn't done any outfit posts lately, but my slave driver voice told me it was a frivolous way to spend my time (NB: I'm not accusing other style bloggers here of wasting their time! They have many good reasons for their blogs which I admire).
Anyway, I decided to do some photos anyway, and dress up a bit, even though I was only staying at home, and lo and behold, with the dressing and playing with ideas, I pulled myself out of my funk!
Big lesson here!!! Maybe when I start to feel I'm wasting my time on earth because I'm stuck at home with my disability issues, instead of pushing myself to achieve something which I'm incapable of, and with the resulting self esteem loss because I can't match my goal...I should try to have fun and lighten up, and then my slave driver will lighten up, and then paradoxically, I'll feel I've achieved something!
Does this make sense?

Frivolity
So here I am trying to play! Apologies for the faded features, I forgot to put lipstick on, and it was cold!

Here is an outfit comprising of my dressing gown (gift) which I thought deserved an outing, under that is my silk trench coat (old) I recently renovated to make the shoulders fit, and I can wear it on its own.


The scarf is a gift I've had for many years, jumper is merino (retail old),
the pants are secondhand $3, the belt also $3 secondhand,
and the suede booties $5 secondhand.


With the focus on shrugs recently, I thought I'd show you one I made out of the velvet dress (gift) I've had for many years and hardly ever worn.


Here I am in a secondhand men's wool jumper $10.


And this is what I spent the day in...the vest I made from Bushy's secondhand jacket (I nicked the sleeves for my armlets).


Since we are talking about the blues, I thought I'd show a rayon gown bought secondhand for $7.


My favourite kind of blues!

'Til next time, keep creating,
Jazzy Jack


9 comments:

  1. you found the stone of the wise!!!! or like they say in buddhism: "let it go, then it will come to you".
    :-)
    congrats to that experience and thank you for writing about. that can teach us so much.
    the weight seems to stuck at me like cement lately, so i can feel with you. more hiking i think....
    the outfits:
    first you have a great taste in robes :-)
    your shoulder renovation on the trench is a great success, very chic. dito the blue shrug - very bohemian - and that cool vest from a mans jacket. all the outfits shown here look so cool and you seem very comfortable in them. great color combo of light blue, red and beige....... boyish clothes don´t have to be boring - you show it!
    xxxx

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  2. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. Your boy clothes are anything but boring, you look wonderfully elegant and stylish in all your outfits but I'm really loving the rayon robe! x

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  3. I'm sorry too, it's hard navigating rough times. I do think our clothing has some power though, as frivolous as that sounds! I really do LOVE your outfits, all are so fabulous and your shrug is beautiful, the rayon gown and sleeveless vest are amazing on you, these are definitely not boring!! x x x

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  4. I'm sorry you've been struggling, Jack. Glad you found a way out of the funk and you have made some awesome outfits! I love them and there is definitely nothing boring about them! They really suit you and look very chic and stylish. Sending you big hugs!
    xoxo

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  5. Thanks guys, your lovely comments mean a lot! I have a little more confidence now after your encouragement :-) And I've never met you ! How amazing is the internet. Hugs all round!

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  6. Thank you for sharing your tough journey. We can't imagine how hard it is for you. You have enriched our lives and many many more by just being you. We cry with you and fly with you and pray for you. Your eye for beauty and whimsey as well as your poetic vision is a delight.
    we love your outfits which look great on you from sophisticated trench coat to the elegant shrug.We feel as if we have been to a fashion show ...what fun! D&M xxxx

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    1. Thanks D&M! Glad you liked the fashion show:-) thanks for always being such a wonderful support and encouraging me gently. You rock!XO

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  7. I hope you are feeling better now. :( The blues can be no fun.. oy. I can relate to that. But I'm glad that you posted something anyway. I dunno if this works for you.... but sometimes just getting dressed up in something special makes me feel happier. And let's talk about that cheetah coat.... :) I love it. If I were in Australia, I'd ask to go thrifting with you. You score some pretty premium stuff!

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    1. Thanks so much Leslie! I'd love to thrift with you. We could talk about possibilities :-) I just picked up a wool and cashmere coat for Bushy today...hope it fits! I have found a good shop in a good suburb where the posh people live ;-) Yes, I am feeling better thanks. And playing dress up never grows old! XO

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