The Blues, Perfectionist and Frivolity

The Blues

I had the blues this morning.

I think some of the blues was caused by my weight gain which has happened over the last six months, due to menopause or medication. This is causing issues with my wardrobe, so I am disinclined to want to share.

Also I am finding myself wanting to revert back to my boy clothes and I don't think they are as interesting for people to look at.

I've also had some health issues, with a sore neck that is resisting treatment, and multiple sore niggles in various parts of my body, which is causing a dip in my confidence and resilience.

I tend to get trapped in overwhelmness and overload when I'm in pain, due to my sensory processing issues.

If I paddle harder to get better e.g. seeing professionals, doing exercises, the extra busyness causes exhaustion which causes more tendency to overload.

If I stop and rest, my brain gets bored and I get depressed thinking I'm wasting my life away, lying on the bed.

Perfectionist

My tendency is towards earnestness and perfectionism 
(is that a term?)

When I was two my parents noticed I wasn't laughing much, so deliberately set out to find funny books to teach me to have fun!

I always have a clock ticking in my head, marking off the moments of my life, telling me to make sure every moment counts because I only have so much time living.

Unfortunately my perfectionist tendencies grab hold of this perfectly reasonable thought, and push me into doing the best and most perfect thing, every single moment of every single day, otherwise I've failed!

So couple this with my Aspergic tendency to not like small talk, and I find I struggle to chat and have fun on my blog.

I realised I hadn't done any outfit posts lately, but my slave driver voice told me it was a frivolous way to spend my time (NB: I'm not accusing other style bloggers here of wasting their time! They have many good reasons for their blogs which I admire).

Anyway, I decided to do some photos anyway, and dress up a bit, even though I was only staying at home, and lo and behold, with the dressing and playing with ideas, I pulled myself out of my funk!

Big lesson here!!! Maybe when I start to feel I'm wasting my time on earth because I'm stuck at home with my disability issues, instead of pushing myself to achieve something which I'm incapable of, and with the resulting self esteem loss because I can't match my goal...I should try to have fun and lighten up, and then my slave driver will lighten up, and then paradoxically, I'll feel I've achieved something!

Does this make sense?

Frivolity

So here I am trying to play! Apologies for the faded features, I forgot to put lipstick on, and it was cold!

Here is an outfit comprising of my dressing gown (gift) which I thought deserved an outing, under that is my silk trench coat (old) I recently renovated to make the shoulders fit, and I can wear it on its own.

The scarf is a gift I've had for many years, jumper is merino (retail old),

the pants are secondhand $3, the belt also $3 secondhand,

and the suede booties $5 secondhand.

With the focus on shrugs recently, I thought I'd show you one I made out of the velvet dress (gift) I've had for many years and hardly ever worn.

Here I am in a secondhand men's wool jumper $10.

And this is what I spent the day in...the vest I made from Bushy's secondhand jacket (I nicked the sleeves for my armlets).

Since we are talking about the blues, I thought I'd show a rayon gown bought secondhand for $7.

My favourite kind of blues!

'Til next time, keep creating,

Jazzy Jack