I think some of the blues was caused by my weight gain which has happened over the last six months, due to menopause or medication. This is causing issues with my wardrobe, so I am disinclined to want to share.
Also I am finding myself wanting to revert back to my boy clothes and I don't think they are as interesting for people to look at.
I've also had some health issues, with a sore neck that is resisting treatment, and multiple sore niggles in various parts of my body, which is causing a dip in my confidence and resilience.
I tend to get trapped in overwhelmness and overload when I'm in pain, due to my sensory processing issues.
If I paddle harder to get better e.g. seeing professionals, doing exercises, the extra busyness causes exhaustion which causes more tendency to overload.
If I stop and rest, my brain gets bored and I get depressed thinking I'm wasting my life away, lying on the bed.
My tendency is towards earnestness and perfectionism (is that a term?)
When I was two my parents noticed I wasn't laughing much, so deliberately set out to find funny books to teach me to have fun!
I always have a clock ticking in my head, marking off the moments of my life, telling me to make sure every moment counts because I only have so much time living.
Unfortunately my perfectionist tendencies grab hold of this perfectly reasonable thought, and push me into doing the best and most perfect thing, every single moment of every single day, otherwise I've failed!
So couple this with my Aspergic tendency to not like small talk, and I find I struggle to chat and have fun on my blog.
I realised I hadn't done any outfit posts lately, but my slave driver voice told me it was a frivolous way to spend my time (NB: I'm not accusing other style bloggers here of wasting their time! They have many good reasons for their blogs which I admire).
Anyway, I decided to do some photos anyway, and dress up a bit, even though I was only staying at home, and lo and behold, with the dressing and playing with ideas, I pulled myself out of my funk!
Big lesson here!!! Maybe when I start to feel I'm wasting my time on earth because I'm stuck at home with my disability issues, instead of pushing myself to achieve something which I'm incapable of, and with the resulting self esteem loss because I can't match my goal...I should try to have fun and lighten up, and then my slave driver will lighten up, and then paradoxically, I'll feel I've achieved something!
Does this make sense?
So here I am trying to play! Apologies for the faded features, I forgot to put lipstick on, and it was cold!
Here is an outfit comprising of my dressing gown (gift) which I thought deserved an outing, under that is my silk trench coat (old) I recently renovated to make the shoulders fit, and I can wear it on its own.
The scarf is a gift I've had for many years, jumper is merino (retail old),
the pants are secondhand $3, the belt also $3 secondhand,
and the suede booties $5 secondhand.
With the focus on shrugs recently, I thought I'd show you one I made out of the velvet dress (gift) I've had for many years and hardly ever worn.
Here I am in a secondhand men's wool jumper $10.
And this is what I spent the day in...the vest I made from Bushy's secondhand jacket (I nicked the sleeves for my armlets).
Since we are talking about the blues, I thought I'd show a rayon gown bought secondhand for $7.
Today I would like to show a few items in detail you may have missed in our house tour.
First up are some paintings.
This one is titled Poppies. I did this in a childlike style because it refers to the two Grandfathers who are now no longer with us, my Grandfather, and my kids' Grandfather both who were named Poppy.
And of course referring also to the remembering of the dead from war with the flower Poppy.
The next one is called Interbred.
I painted this while living in New Zealand and seeing how the Maori culture is interwoven into the white culture, especially in Rotorua.
It made me sad to think that our Aboriginal people could have had the same respect.
The next painting is painted to encourage myself.
I painted it to look like heiroglyphics carved in stone, swirling around a centre full of life, and from that centre emerges a force which carves its own way through the stone.
The symbols are those used throughout the queer world, and the letters underneath are
LGBT in the Greek Alphabet (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender).
The line is 'To swim against the stream, salmonlike, a silvered gleam, knifepoint slicing its way'
a line from one of my poems.
The following are paintings I've done of The Artist and The Actor.
Now we come to crafts. This is the only thing I, as crafty as you like, could bring myself to make for my unborn first child.
Its a wallhanging of native Australian flowers with faces.
Waratah, Wattle, Flannel Flower, Tea Tree, and Banksia or something like that!
The white objects are two from a series of four I carved out of polystyrene at art college.
We were learning Maori carving techniques and had to invent a design incorporating them on four different shapes.
I got top marks for the cone, but he didnt like the sphere.
It's a lizard hiding in grass...his head...
...and his tail.
As part of our Rotorua stay we bought ourselves a piece of glass to remind us of its volcanic nature.
Isn't it gorgeous?
We don't have formal display cases with lights, so we stand it on the little wall behind the sink and the downlight shines into it. I put my rings in it when I cook. I like using precious things.
And right beside the glory of the lava glass, at the other end of the bench, and the other end pricewise!,is my green bottle collection. I look into them and feel like I'm in another world, like underwater or something.
Old boots that are nearly at the end of their life, looked grungy, so I drew on them with oil pastels.
But I wasn't totally happy, so one day when I felt reckless, I cut out the tongue so you could see the socks, and darkened them a little, then feeling I needed to break up the shape, I painted the instep with black shoe dye. It now looks high heeled!
Then feeling still more reckless, I cut off the top of the boot.
Now they are much lighter with less leather.
The leather is so soft and I have a sheepskin inner sole, they are like walking on clouds!