19 December 2018

No Comment

Hello darling ones!

Don't fall over, it's me again. Ha!


I have been thinking lately about comments on blogs. That lovely tangible evidence that someone reads and sometimes likes the words we send out. The meandering thoughts we gather and tie up with a bow. How much we long for them, at least I do. But lately I've been wondering if my relationship with them is a little needy. I wondered about switching off my comments box, but then I would miss the real connections that can be made.

When no one comments I am tempted to think "they don't like me", or I sit there making up excuses like maybe it isn't daytime yet, or people are busy.
I often feel online like I do in real life. I think I've said this before. So when I don't get comments I feel like an introvert trying to put myself out there at a party and nobody notices.

I wonder how many comments would be "enough". If I felt no comments meant I wasn't a worthy blogger, how many comments means I am? It seems rather silly when put like that.
Maybe it's not about the number of comments but how deep our conversation goes. How much we can share of our lives and feel supported, or enlightened.

Here I must admit to delight when I have visited more prominent blogs which have no comments at all. It almost feels freeing. "See they don't have any comments either!"

Of course we all know that seeking external validation is never a wise move. But I am a born performer, despite my introversion, and love an audience. I love the give and take and the sense that more has been created by our interaction than I could ever do on my own.
This is the crux of why I blog. To have a connection with another and to somehow together create something in each other's lives that enlarges us.
To put our random thoughts together and pile them up until they create a wonderfully idiosyncratic sculpture against the skyline. Leading our eyes towards the setting sun.




Having taken this as my topic today I am fully aware it may seem like I am begging!
While I am so totally grateful to those who have visited and shared their stories, I am also aware that I don't always have words to share on others' blogs, so I do understand.

I leave you with a lovely image of the sea and my gorgeous man with his faithful friend. We could take a tip from the sea. So many waves, but not every one is greeted with shouts of joy. But still they come. Maybe this is a little fanciful, but you get my drift. Ha! Drift?


Many hugs to you all,
Love,
Jazzy Jack

8 comments:

  1. many hugs to YOU!
    wise words and very true. thanks for the lovely pics of you both and the poetic sculpture.......
    xxxx

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  2. I'm like you, if I don't connect with someone on some level it on my blog feels like a waste of time. As humans we feel a need to connect. It's natural. If no one connects I go through a period of self doubt.

    With the rise of social media we rely too heavily on others people's opinions to provide self worth. These are people we don't know at all and will never meet in real life. They shouldn't matter to us at all.

    People are fragile and too often someone else's callous words, or lack thereof, can cut us to the bone. Limiting the amount of exposure we have to social media and understanding that ultimately we are already worthy should help.


    Suzanne
    http://www.suzannecarillo.com

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    Replies
    1. As usual, Suzanne is right. We can see her point more fully when we remember what life was like before 2005 when social media emerged. Heck, I can remember life before computers!

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  3. I am exactly the same way! :) And of course I like you! Write, share your thoughts and photos and projects - because YOU need it, because it enriches YOU, first of all. But I have to admit that I feel more often than I would like to admit that I also am afraid that people don't comment because they don't like me or they don't care. I think all our fears come from our ego. Ego can be useful at practical tasks, but we won't grow much as spiritual beings if we let our ego rule our life. So I spend a lot of time, regularly, working through my fears, and keep putting myself out there - in blogs, in books, and now again in my programs in the library. If we care and if we have fun - there always will be at least one more soul who also cares and who also benefits, and so the exchange begins.

    Lots of love!

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  4. Hello! I'm delighted that your performance went well, to see you both and to admire your stone sculpture.
    we wouldn't be human if we didn't have periods of self doubt and, of course, it does feel like a slap in the face when we don't get the comments we crave, scary when you think you social media can mean so much when it wasn't even invented a few short years ago.
    I wish there was something to say that we'd read a blog post - IG is good like that, if you can't think of the words to say you can click like. I don't always comment on all the blogs I follow but I wouldn't be following them if I didn't like the writer it's just that sometimes the content just isn't relevant to me and I've always been useless at small talk. xxx

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  5. I could have written this myself since it so accurately describes my same reaction to comments. Like you, I'm shy but also a performer of sorts. Feedback is deeply felt, appreciated and missed when absent.

    That said, I've wrestled with the feelings you express and realize it's not wholly healthy for me to become dependent on comments. Like you, I've decided not to forego them entirely but to see them more realistically. External validation from quasi-strangers is comforting but not solid ground for our emotional health.

    In conclusion, let me mention that I value comments most when they come from friends, people I know and respect. YOU are one. Your comments mean the world to me. I hope you know that.

    Happy holidays!

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  6. What a lot of wise comments! You have some good friends here who are prepared to think a bit more deeply than many. Years ago, I heard someone say "Flowers, blooming in the jungle unseen by anyone do so to the glory of God, the Creator."
    We delight in all your creations...love the photos above and especially the people in them.
    Love and hugs M&D xxxx

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  7. I totally agree with what you have written. Sometimes, I write a post and think, "Huh, why are you ignoring it!? " Particularly when I write my 'Pause for Lent' or Advent posts and some people comment on everything BUT those and it always makes me sad that they want to reject that part of myself. But then I think- get over it - you don't need a comment, I just hope perhaps they read it at least!

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