Patti's Visible Monday on Not Dead Yet Style has had me thinking about visibility and what it means to me.
Here is my highly visible outfit I wore to a gathering the other week, with my wool kimono see Architectural Clothing about halfway down the page. I had many remarks about my layered spiderweb fishnets over my Muppet tights! So I felt highly visible.
Gold leather jacket, faux fur collar, tartan dress, white blouse- op shop
Boots, yellow tights - retail
Spider fishnets - Black Milk retail
Here is Mr Actor in a balaclava I made for him, trying to be invisible, but with visible thought.
He's a honey!
Being visible and taking up space in the world is a constant effort for some. In physical space, with ladies crossing their legs and not invading others' space in public, or people with larger than average bodies being made to feel shameful.
Or in aural space, with people speaking in soft voices. People even apologise for singing in public, like they are somehow hurting others! If I hear someone singing it makes my day! So why do we apologise? Surely we all have the same rights to populate the aural-sphere?
Do we not want others to judge us so we try to keep under the radar?
Don't we all want to be seen by someone? Really seen? Isn't this why we blog? I know it is for me.
Are we so used to putting up a mask where we are all victorious that we are afraid to be vulnerable?
How many people clean up before the cleaner comes? Heaven forbid the cleaner sees our mess!
I remember in my Mothers' Group days, we would visit each other's houses and although we were all struggling and barely coping with baby mess, we all tidied up and pretended our house was immaculate. We laughed at this and said we shouldn't put so much pressure on ourselves, but no one was game to be the only slob, to show their reality. (Of course the other side to this is that we often enjoyed having a clean house afterwards ;-)
I am often told how brave I am, showing my soft, not coping side. But I think that is the blessing Aspergers has given me, in that I don't know how to do anything else, but be honest. I know I also can over share, so I'm not advocating that, but being slightly more real and visible can bring amazing benefits, where others then share their reality with you and a bond and connection is made.
I'd like to share a poem I wrote on this subject. Hopefully you won't find it too dark!
In loving you
I give myself to you
brushing aside the enshrouding mists
intended to baffle
exposing my core
my vulnerable places
my raw weeping wounds
holding my breath -
waiting for your hiss of revulsion
I hear silence
and unbelieving open my eyes
to gaze on your beauty
as you in turn
let drop your cloaking mask
sharing your mutilation with me
Okay, enough soapbox! Come on over and see the folks at the shindig on Visible Mondays
at Not Dead Yet Style. We are highly visible in many ways, and we love it!
'Til next time, keep creating!
Update: Linking up with Sacremento's plaid party at MisPapelicos. All these wonderful plaid/tartan get togethers!