And the beat goes on....

I thought I'd update you on how my journey is going, two weeks later.
I can't lie, it has not been easy, but it could have been a lot worse.

Lately I'm dealing with a lot of muscular tension and pain, and my mind state is turbulent. I've had days where my thoughts all unravel and fill my mind with meaningless stuff. All my decisions and thought processes from my adult life are unzipped and reanalysed and remade. Talk about confusion and depression!

However I am holding firm and trying to remain in the moment.

My initial response to the medication reduction is:

increased - muscle tension/pain,
                - allergies,
                - mind turbulence,
                - sensory overload.
decreased - puffiness,
                - dryness,
                - oral thrush,
                - heart rate,
                - heart pounding,
                - sleepiness.

One more week of alternate day medication, and then nothing for 3 wks and then ECG. Da da daaaah!

On a brighter note, I received a lovely gift from Shawna of The Director of Awesome, who is awesome!! Go and visit her now, I'll wait.

She sent me this fabulous glass bead necklace as it doesn't suit her wardrobe colouring anymore.

This is what I was wearing, so I tucked the necklace into the braces for a belt!

Thrifted - Silk scarf headwrap, yellow braces/suspenders,
white cotton shirt, pinstripe shorts, converse sneakers;
Gifted - glass bead necklace/belt

And tomorrow if all goes well, we are off to Heartwoods for the Easter Long Weekend!
We have plans of bike riding, chopping firewood, and hammock lounging....but they are predicting rain, which we desperately need. So maybe we will be reading, eating and drawing around the pot belly stove inside the shed listening to the raindrops filling our tank and dam!

As we enter the shed

Looking to the left a bit

Looking further to the left

You can see all the work Bushy has done on his holidays, levelling the dirt floor, adding sand, plastic and carpet tiles; lining metal walls with foam for some insulation and covering the base with plywood; filling the holes in the roof with insulation batts, so air doesn't blow in; mounting a sink and cupboards to provide a more pleasant work space.The pot belly lived for years in our garden as a sculpture, but took up the reins again despite rust, and does a stirling job heating and cooking. No windows, just a skylight and two roller doors, and all our old castoffs which suddenly look glamorous again at Heartwoods!

In order to cheer myself up I've been going through old works and discovered this poem I wrote many years ago when in a similar state. I liked it so much I put it on Instagram for people to read and download if it spoke to them. So here it is for you to enjoy!

Keep on creating and showing your amazing self to the world in all its uniqueness and craziness.
Jazzy Jack



  1. It must be so refreshing to pack up and change your environment for a while. I can imagine it increases creativity and imagination and keeps you from staying in a comfort zone for too long. I'd love to have a second home someplace to get away to when the sluggishness sets in. Seeing these photos makes me think of what I would include in a place like that. I think I might even create a scrapbook with ideas of what this "other space" would look like and include. Very inspiring.
    I love your poetry and how insightful you are Jazzy. Keep writing!

  2. Hope the weather's not too bad where you are ... it's torrential at our place ... keep dry and have a Happy Easter :0)

  3. Shawna McComber3 April 2015 at 22:09

    I hope your weekend away is wonderful! Heartwood looks so cosy. I am so sorry you have to go through such difficulties with the loss of the medication but glad there are upsides to it too. I love the beautiful imagery in your poem. You are all of those things and more! xoxo

  4. beate @ bahnwaerterhaeuschen4 April 2015 at 12:25

    love your elegant take on shorts!!!! fabulous!
    that poem is wonderful - and so true! we really must stop thinking that we are not good enough.
    hubby and i have a hang for the "simple life" too - when we going kayak wandern then we can only take with us what fits in that narrow boat - camping stuff and clothes for 1-2 weeks (and the north european weather!) and food and drinking water for a few days. life goes very easy on this trips. happy easter at heartwoods!!!!!! xxxxx
    ps.: i once got magnesium for my muscle cramps - but funnily it helps for the "cramps" in my mind too!

  5. Lots of wonderful rain! Wasn't Easter ever thus?!

  6. Oh you make me blush!
    Yes it was lovely, and cosy in the rain.

  7. Thanks!
    Your kayak trips sound wonderful.
    We had a lovely break. Hopefully post soon.
    Will wait until all tests are done before more adjusting under drs supervision! But magnesium sounds great thanks.

  8. I admire you how you can spread so much life, imagination and joy despite all these difficulties. Break out from everyday life is always helpful and brings new energy and new ways of looking at things and the own life. I'm your biggest fan and I´m very often thinking of you :)

    send you a big hug from far away
    Dana :)

  9. You made my day!
    I do try and spread joy in spite of my "stuff"! But not sure I always achieve it. So thanks for that my dear :-D
    I can feel your thoughts and hugs. Sending some right back! xo Jazzy Jack

  10. What a great poem! Really enjoyed it.

    I can only imagine how rough things have been lately. Hopefully your body will find the right balance again. I know it is all just a juggling act. Trying to balance meds and life.

    Thinking of you!


  11. Sorry I've been such a lousy friend, didn't have time to check out your bloggy! Your predicament mind not be a cherry, but I know you'll pull through, cause you're a fighting machine! ^_^ That's what I get from your blog, I get a sense of strength and don't give a damn attitude, that's why I like you! ^_^
    Also, your shed is awesome, I can basically see myself living there :D

  12. Thanks Suzanne. So glad you liked the poem!
    Thanks for the thoughts, they are much appreciated. Xo Jazzy Jack

  13. I like that...a fighting machine! When I'm feeling too driven and can't relax, that will help :-)
    You are a fine friend. Thanks for the thoughts. I know you are moving and all that entails...don't I ever!
    Come and live in our shed! Please! Although the freezing mornings in Winter before the fire goes on, and the boiling temps in Summer (when we avoid going) might put you off. At least I don't have to get up in the freezing night to breast feed any more. I needed my head read!! :-D xo Jazzy Jack

  14. I love the poem, and I'm hoping that your progress through the mediation withdrawal eventually continues in an easier fashion. It must be a real challenge. Hope you enjoyed your trip away over Easter! xxx

  15. Thanks Curtise! Yes, we had a lovely time which I plan to post about when I have some time!! School hols start today and parents visiting...which will be lovely. xo Jazzy Jack

  16. Here is someone who is reading this and having a big smile on his face :)


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